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Your Critical Thinking - Stories off Email Postings to Test Your Critical Thinking
Perceptions
Content:
We often times are misled by our perceptions. Our perceptions can be faulty
which then result in our critical thinking about situations to become faulty as
well. Here is a perfect example of a faulty perception gone haywire!
Miss Perception! A
Senior Moment
An elderly lady was returning to her car with her
groceries and found four men leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping
bags and drew a handgun, while screaming, "I have a gun and I know how to
use it! Get out of the car you scum bags!"
The
four men didn't wait for a second invitation but got out and ran like all darn
nation! The lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bags onto the
back seat of the car and got into the driver's seat but was so shaken that she
could not get her key into the ignition. After trying several times, it dawned
on her ... why. A few minutes later she found her own car parked several spaces
away. She reloaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The
desk sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with
laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter, where four very pale white
males were reporting a car jacking by a crazy old woman described as less than
five feet tall, with curly white hair carrying a large handgun.
No
charges were filed.
Perceptions:
Remembering the Other Person's Point of Reference
When
you are problem solving, decision making, or trying to resolve conflicts with
people who are younger or older than yourself, it is extremely important to try
to remember to get into "their point of reference" when explaining
your point of view. It is imperative that you clarify what each others' points
of reference are so that you are talking in the same language and can clarify
your perceptions on the issues which you are trying to resolve with one another.
The following are examples of how age of people influences their perceptions based on
their points of reference or points of view.
I am Young Really
One evening a son was talking to his father about current events. He
asked what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just
things in general.
The dad replied, "Well, let me think a minute...I was born before
television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, contact lenses,
Frisbees and the pill. There weren't things like radar, credit cards, laser
beams or ball-point pens.
Your Mom and I got married first-then lived together.
Every family had a father and a mother, and every boy over 14 had a rifle
that his dad taught him how to use and respect. Until I was 25, I called every
man older than I, 'Sir'- and after I turned 25, I still called policemen and
every man with a title, 'Sir.' Sundays were set aside for going to church as a
family, helping those in need, and just visiting with family or neighbors.
We were before computer-dating, dual careers, gay-rights, daycare centers,
and group therapy. Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good
judgment, and common sense.
We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up
and take responsibility for our actions. Serving your country was a
privilege; living here was a bigger privilege. Draft dodgers were people who
closed their front doors when the evening breeze started.
Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and
weekends-not condominiums. I don't ever remember any kid blowing his
brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.
If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan' on it, it was junk.
The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam. Pizza Hut,
McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of. We had 5 & 10 cent
stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents. Ice cream cones,
phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel, and if you
didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1
letter and 2 postcards. You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, but who
could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.
In my day, 'grass' was mowed, 'coke' was a cold drink, 'pot' was something
your mother cooked in, and 'rock music' was your grandmother's lullaby.
Aids' were helpers in the Principal's office, 'chip' meant a piece of wood,
'hardware' was found in a hardware store, and 'software' wasn't even a word. And
we were the last generation that was so dumb as to think a lady needed a husband
to have a baby.
No wonder people call us old and confused-and say there is such a Generation
gap.
And I'm only 50 years old!"
A
Different Time
This
was sent out at the beginning of the school year 2000-2001:
Persons starting college this fall across the nation were born in
1982!...
-
They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan
Era and probably did not know he had ever been shot.
-
They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.
-
Black Monday, 1987 is as insignificant to them as the Great Depression.
-
To them, there has been only one Pope.
-
They were 11 when the Soviet Union broke apart and do not remember the Cold
War.
-
They have never feared a nuclear war.
-
They are too young to remember the Challenger space shuttle blowing up.
-
Tianamen Square means nothing to them.
-
Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.
-
Atari predates them, as do vinyl albums. The
expression "you sound like a broken record" means nothing to them. They have never owned a record player.
-
They may have never heard of an 8 track. The Compact Disc was introduced
when they were 1 year old.
-
As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 33
(now 34)cents.
-
They have always had an answering machine.
-
Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen a
black and white TV. They have always had cable.
-
There has always been VCRs, but they have no idea what BETA is.
-
They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
-
Roller-skating has always been inline for them.
-
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
-
They have no idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool.
-
Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
-
They have never seen Larry Bird play.
-
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
-
The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as WW1, WW2 and the Civil
War.
-
They have no idea that Americans were ever held hostage in Iran.
-
They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.
-
They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
-
They never heard: Where's the beef?, I'd walk a mile for a Camel, or de
plane, de plane.
-
They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. was.
-
The Titanic was found? They thought we always knew where it was.
-
Michael Jackson has always looked white.
-
Kansas, Chicago, Boston, America, and Alabama are places, not groups.
-
There has always been MTV.
-
They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.
A
Kodak Moment
A little girl walked daily to and from school. Though the weather one morning
was questionable and clouds were forming, she made the daily trek to the
elementary school. As the day progressed, the winds whipped up, along with
thunder and lightning. The mother was worried that her daughter would be
frightened walking back home from school, and she herself feared the electrical
storm might cause her harm. Following each roar of the thunder, lightning would
cut through the sky like a flaming sword. Being very concerned, the mother got
into her car and drove along the route to the school.
Soon she saw her small child walking along. The thunder would boom, and then,
at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look and smile. One followed
another, each time with her child stopping, looking up at the streak of light
and smiling. Finally, the mother called out and asked, "Honey, what are you
doing?" Her little girl answered, "God keeps taking pictures of
me!"
Perceptions:
Don't Let Your Prejudices Blind You
A
major consideration in improving your critical thinking is to become aware of
your prejudices and to be clear that they do not blind or mislead your
perceptions of issues, problems, conflicts, decisions, or difficulties which you
are trying to resolve or clear up. We often jump to faulty assumptions based on
our internal beliefs about our stereotypes about people, groups, cultures,
races, etc.. Here are some examples to heighten your sensitivity to use of
prejudice when confronting other people.
Hit
the Floor!
For anyone who didn't see David Letterman's take on this true story...
On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a
slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the
hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room.
"I'll be right back and we'll go to eat," she told her husband
and carriedthe coin-laden bucket to the elevator. As she was about to walk into
the elevator she noticed two men already aboard. Both were black. One of them
was BIG... very big....an intimidating figure. The woman froze!
Her first thought was: These two are going to rob me. Her next thought was:
Don't be a bigot, they look like perfectly nice gentlemen. But racial
stereotypes are powerful, and fear immobilized her. She stood and stared at the
two men. She felt anxious, flustered and ashamed. She hoped they didn't read her
mind - but God, they had to know what she was thinking!
Her hesitation about joining them in the elevator was all too obvious now. Her
face was flushed. She couldn't just stand, so with a mighty effort of will she
picked up one foot and stepped forward and followed with the other foot and was
on the elevator. Avoiding eye contact, she turned around stiffly and faced the
elevator doors as they closed.
A second passed and then another second, and then another. Her fear increased!
The elevator didn't move. Panic consumed her. My God, she thought, I'm trapped
and about to be robbed! Her heart plummeted. Perspiration poured from every
pore.
Then one of the men said, "Hit the floor." Instinct told her to do
what they said.
The bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her arms! and collapsed on
the elevator floor. A shower of coins rained down on her. Take my money and
spare me, she prayed. More seconds passed. She heard one of the men say
politely,
"Ma'am, if you will just tell us what floor you're going to, we'll push the
button." The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out.
He was trying mightily to hold in a belly laugh.
The woman lifted her head and looked up at the two men. They reached down to
help her up. Confused, she struggled to her feet. "When I told my friend
here to hit the floor," said the average sized one, "I meant that he
should hit the elevator button for our floor. I didn't mean for you to hit the
floor, ma'am." He spoke genially. He bit his lip. It was obvious he was
having a hard time not laughing.
The woman thought: My God, what a spectacle I've made of myself. She was
too humiliated to speak. She wanted to blurt out an apology, but words failed
her. How do you apologize to two perfectly respectable gentlemen for
behaving as though they were going to rob you? She didn't know what to
say.
The three of them gathered up the strewn quarters and refilled her bucket. When
the elevator arrived at her floor they insisted on walking her to her room. She
seemed a little unsteady on her feet, and they were afraid she might not make it
down the corridor. At her door they bid her a good evening.
As she slipped into her room she could hear them roaring with laughter as they
walked back to the elevator. The woman brushed herself off. She pulled herself
together and went downstairs for dinner with her husband.
The next morning flowers were delivered to her room - a dozen roses. Attached to
each rose was a crisp one hundred dollar bill. The card said:
"Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years."
It was signed,
Eddie Murphy
Michael Jordan
A
Blonde Joke
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow
$5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the
loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked
on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out.
The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's
president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a
$250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then
proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it
there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest,
which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to
have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but
we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found
that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to
borrow $5,000?"
The blond replies ..."Where else in New York City can I park my
car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
Colored
A Poem written by an African
American Shakespeare...
Dear white fella
Couple things you should know
When I was born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in sun, I black
When I cold, I black
When I scared, I black
When I sick, I black
And when I die, I still black.
You white fella
When you born, you pink
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue
When you scared, you yellow
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you gray.
And you have the nerve to call me colored?
Lessons To Be Learned by Not Being Blinded to the
Needs of Others
First Important Lesson: Every person you meet deserves your attention
and care even it is just to say "hello."
During my second month of nursing school, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I
was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read
the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the
school? Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman
several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I
know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just
before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward
our quiz grade. "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your
careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your
attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello'." I've
never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
Second Important Lesson - Keep a servant's attitude towards
others no matter who they are or what they look like.
One night, at 11:30 PM, an older African American woman was standing on the
side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had
broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag
down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of
in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get
assistance and put her into a taxi cab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but
wrote down his address and thanked him.
Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a
giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached.
It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other
night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came
along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just
before he passed away. God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving
others."
Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.
Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve you.
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year old boy
entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of
water in front of him.
"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "Fifty
cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled his hand out of his
pocket and studied the coins in it. "Well, how much is a plain dish of ice
cream?" he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the
waitress was growing impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she brusquely
replied."
The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice
cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the
table and walked away.
The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress
came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table.
There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five
pennies. You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have
enough left to leave her a tip.
Fourth Important Lesson - Obstacles in our path are really
opportunities to grow from.
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid
himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the
king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it.
Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did
anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along
carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid
down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much
pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his
load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder
had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king
indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the
roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand. Every obstacle
presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
Fifth Important Lesson - Be willing to give when it counts no matter
the personal cost.
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a
little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease.
Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her
5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had
developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the
situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing
to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before
taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save
her."
As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled,
as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale
and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling
voice, "Will I start to die right away?"
Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was
going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her. You see,
after all, understanding and attitude, are everything.
Perceptions:
Projection is Another Name for Blaming
Often times when
we are trying to use critical thinking and problem solving to address an issue
facing us, we can be blinded by our perceptions which are clouded by our
projections. Projection is a term which psychologist use to describe a defense
mechanism, which people use to ascribe to others those deficits or wrongs which
they know are present in themselves. In other words, projection is another word
for blaming. Remember, when you point the finger of blame towards a someone,
there are always three fingers on your hand pointing back at yourself. The
following examples bring home for us the problem with not accepting
responsibility for one's own actions and blaming others to deflect the
responsibility elsewhere.
Who is to Blame?
Let's
see if I understand the state of personal responsibility in the America in the
last decade:
-
If a woman burns her thighs on the hot coffee she was holding in her lap while
driving, she blames the restaurant.
-
If your teen-age son kills himself, you blame the rock 'n' roll musician he
liked.
-
If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer your family
blames the tobacco company.
-
If your daughter gets pregnant by the football captain you blame the school for
poor sex education.
-
If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, you blame the
bartender.
-
If your cousin gets AIDS because the needle he used to shoot heroin was dirty,
you blame the government for not providing clean ones.
-
If your grandchildren are brats without manners, you blame television.
-
And, if your friend is shot by a deranged madman, you blame the gun
manufacturer.
God bless America, land of the free, home of the blame.
Don't
Mess with Mom
- My son came home from school one day, with a smirk upon his face.
- He'd decided he was smart enough, to put me in my place.
- "Guess what I learned in Civics Two, that's taught by Mr. Wright?
- It's all about the laws today, The "Children's Bill of Rights."
- It says I need not clean my room, don't have to cut my hair.
- No one can tell me what to think, or speak, or what to wear.
- I have freedom from religion, and regardless what you say,
- I don't have to bow my head, and I sure don't have to pray.
- I can wear earrings if I want, and pierce my tongue & nose.
- I can read & watch just what I like, and get tattoos from head to
toes.
- And if you ever spank me, I'll charge you with the crime.
- I'll back up all my charges, with the marks on my behind.
- Don't you ever touch me, my body's only for my use,
- not for your hugs and kisses, that's just more child abuse.
- Don't preach about your morals, like your mama did to you.
- That's nothing more than mind control, And it's illegal too!
- Mom, I have these children's rights, so you can't influence me,
- or I'll call Children's Services Division, better known as C. S. D. "
- Of course my first instinct was To toss him out the door
- But the chance to teach a lesson made me think a little more.
- I mulled it over carefully, I couldn't let this go.
- A smile crept upon my face, he's messing with a pro.
- The next day I took him shopping at the local Goodwill Store
- I told him, "Pick out all you want, there's shirts & pants
galore.
- I've called and checked with C. S. D., who said they didn't care
- if I bought you K-Mart shoes instead of those Nike Airs.
- And I've canceled that appointment to take your driver's test.
- The C. S. D. is unconcerned so I'll decide what's best. "
- I said "No time to stop and eat, or pick up stuff to munch.
- And tomorrow you can start to learn to make your own sack lunch.
- Just save that raging appetite, and wait 'til dinner time.
- We're having liver and onions, a favorite dish of mine.
- He asked "Can I please rent a movie, To watch on my VCR?"
- "Sorry, but I sold your TV, for new tires on my car.
- I also rented out your room, you'll take the couch instead.
- The C. S. D. requires just a roof above your head.
- Your clothing won't be trendy now, and I'll choose what we eat.
- That allowance that you used to get, will buy me something neat.
- I'm selling off your jet ski, dirt-bike & roller blades.
- Check out the "Parent's Bill of Rights", It's in effect
today!
- Hey hot shot, are you crying, and why are you on your knees?
- Are you asking God to help you out, instead of C. S. D.?
So
That is How IT Happened!
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth. And the Earth was
without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep.
And Satan said, "It doesn't get any better than this."
And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. And God
said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb-yielding seed, and the
fruit-tree-yielding fruit," and God saw that it was good.
And Satan said, "There goes the neighborhood."
And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and
let him have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air
and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every thing that walks
upon the Earth." And so God created Man in his own image, male and
female, created them. And God looked upon Man and Woman and saw that they were
lean and fit.
And Satan said, "I know how I can get back in this game."
And God caused to grow on the earth broccoli and cauliflower and spinach,
and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
long, healthy lives.
And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent
Double Cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with
that?"
And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained 5 pounds.
And God created healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man
found so fair.
And Satan brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained 5 pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy, fresh salad."
And Satan brought forth Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds.
And God said, "I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil
with which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
platter. And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the
roof.
And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those
extra pounds.
And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have
to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained another 20
pounds.
And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil." And God
brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with
nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into
chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also.
And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips that were full
of cholesterol. And Satan saw and said, "It is good." And Man went
into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple
bypass surgery.
And Satan
created HMOs.
Perceptions
Based on Faulty Assumptions are Misleading
When
we are proceeding in addressing issues, problems, or conflicts we must be sure
that our perceptions of the situation are not based on faulty assumptions. What
we are hearing, seeing, touching, smelling, or tasting might seem one way to us
based on one assumption but in reality our senses could be misled because the
assumption is faulty to begin with. Always test out your perceptions by first
asking yourself under what assumptions are your perceptions being formed. Try it
out on the following examples.
Terms
of Endearment
An elderly gent was invited to his
old friends home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy
preceded every request to his wife
with endearing terms-calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin,
etc.
The couple had been married almost
70 years, and they were still very clearly in love.
While the wife was off in the
kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his buddy, "I think it's wonderful
that, after all the years you've been married, you still call your wife those
loving pet names."
The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth," he said.
"I forgot her name about ten years ago."
There are several men in the locker
room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone that was on one
of the benches rings. A man picks
it up and the following conversation ensues:
"Hello?"
"Honey, It's me."
"Sugar!"
"Are you at the club?"
"Yes."
"Great! I am at the mall 2 blocks from where you are. I saw a beautiful
mink coat... It is absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"
"What's the price?"
"Only $1,500."
"Well, OK, go ahead and get it,
if you like it that much..."
"Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new
model at a really good price ... and since we need to exchange the BMW
that we bought last year..."
"What price did he quote
you?"
"Only $60,000..."
"OK, but for that price I want
it with all the options."
"Great!, before we hang up, something else..."
"What?"
"It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account
and...I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and I saw the house we
had looked at last year... it's on sale!! Remember? The one with a
pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property..."
"How much are they
asking?"
"Only $450,000... a magnificent price, and I see that we have that
much in the bank to cover..."
"Well, than go ahead and buy
it, but just bid $420,000. OK?"
"OK, sweetie... Thanks!
I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"
"Bye... I do too..."
The man hangs up, closes the phone's
flap and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those
present: "Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
Confession
Tommy Shaughnessy enters the confessional box and says, "Bless me,
Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"
"Yes, Father, it is." "And who was the woman you were
with?" "I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her
reputation." "Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so
you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?" "I cannot
say." "Was it Patricia Kelly?" "I'll never tell."
"Was it Liz Shannon?" "I'm sorry, but I'll not name her."
"Was it Cathy Morgan?" "My lips are sealed." "Was it
Fiona McDonald, then?"
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad Tommy
Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone. Be off
with you now."
Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers,
"What'd you get?" "Five good leads," says Tommy.
Persistence
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an
Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.
Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and
proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on
the chair.
The manager was stunned, but then told the dog "the sign
says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first time. By this time the manager was
totally dumb-founded!
He looked at the dog and said "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job."
The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said "yes, but the sign also says that you have to be
bilingual."
The dog looked at the manager calmly and said "Meow".
Heighten
Awareness of Senses to Insure Accurate Perceptions
First
off if you can say that title without having your tongue contorted you already
have demonstrated the value of this cautionary note. It is important for you to
heighten your senses of sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste when your are
trying to sort out problems, resolve conflicts, and make decisions. It is
invaluable to the process that your perceptions of the issues at hand are
accurate. The following example brings this message aptly home for us.
Rules
For Surviving A Horror Movie
-
When
it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if
it's really dead.
-
Never
read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
-
Do
not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.
-
Never
accept invitations from strangers, especially individuals who inexplicably
live in isolated areas and have no contact with society.
-
As
a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
-
If
you're searching for the cause of a noise and find out that it's not just
the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.
-
If
appliances start operating by themselves, move out.
-
No
sex, beer or partying! Any of these activities will surely seal your fate.
-
If
you find a town that is deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint
and stay away.
-
Don't
fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're
doing.
-
Stay
away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here:
Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog, the Bermuda Triangle, or any
small town in Maine.
-
If
your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking
house to phone for help.
-
Beware
of strangers bearing tools such as chain saws, staple guns, hedge trimmers,
electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches,
soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions.
To
assist you to navigate these Stories to Improve Your Critical Thinking
just click onto the next topic you want to go to:
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