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Tools for Improving Your Critical Thinking - Stories off Email Postings to Test Your Critical Thinking

Language 2

Language and Its Ever Changing Meanings
- Remember When?
- Things Mom Taught Us
Language: Be Clear with Facts
- Did You Know That...

Language: A Play on Words

Language and Its Ever Changing Meanings

The following are examples of how words change meanings over time. It can really affect our critical thinking, problem solving, and interpersonal communications if we are not using the "meaning" of the words which our "recipients" or "senders" are using.

Remember When?

Some of you will remember this, for those that don't, so sorry.

Close your eyes... And go back in time...
Before the Internet or the PC. Before semi-automatics and crack.
Before SEGA or Super Nintendo...

I want you to remember a time when...
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly."
Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening.
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best friends."
Being old referred to anyone over 20.
The net on a tennis court was the perfect height to play volleyball and rules didn't matter.
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.
It was magic when dad would "remove" his thumb.
It was unbelievable that dodge ball wasn't an Olympic event.
Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot.
Nobody was prettier than Mom.
Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park.
Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute ads for action figures.
No shopping trip was complete unless a new toy was brought home.
"Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense.
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.
War was a card game.
Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.
Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.
Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin.
Ice cream was considered a basic food group.
Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors.

Remember way back...
I'm talking about hide and seek at dusk.
The Good Humor man. Red light, green light.
The corner store.
Hopscotch, Butterscotch, Double Dutch, jacks, kickball, dodgeball.
Mother May I?
Red Rover and Roly Poly Hula Hoops.
Running through the sprinkler.
The smell of the sun and licking salty lips....
Eating Kool-Aid powder.
Wax lips and mustaches.
An ice cream cone on a warm summer night Chocolate or vanilla or strawberry or maybe butter pecan.
A cherry coke from the fountain at the corner drug store.
Wait, remember...
Watching Saturday Morning cartoons... Short commercials Fat Albert, Road Runner, He-Man, The Three Stooges, and Bugs Bunny?
Or staying up for Gunsmoke?
Or back further, remember...
Listening to Superman on the radio?
When around the corner seemed far away?
And going downtown seemed like going somewhere?
A million mosquito bites?
Sticky fingers?
Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians, Zorro?
Climbing trees?
Building igloos out of snow banks?
Walking to school, no matter what the weather?
Running till you were out of breath?
Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt?
Jumping on the bed?
Pillow fights?
Being tired from playing.... Remember that?
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team?
Remember when...
There were two types of sneakers for girls and boys (Keds & PF Flyers) and the only time you wore them at school was for "gym"
When nobody owned a purebred dog?
When a quarter was a decent allowance, and another quarter was a miracle?
When milk went up one cent and everyone talked about it for weeks?
When you'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny?
When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking for, free, every time? You didn't pay for air. And, you got trading stamps to boot!
When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box?
When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there?
When it took five minutes for the TV to warm up, if you even had one?
When your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces?
When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents?
When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then?
When all of your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done?
When any parent could discipline any kid, or use him to carry groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it?
When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed ..and did!
When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home?
Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! And some of us are still afraid of them!!!
Remember when...
Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.
Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin.
Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.
Didn't that feel good.. just to go back and say, Yeah, I remember that!
If you can remember most or all of these, than you have LIVED!
Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their "grown up" life... I DOUBLE DOG DARE YA!!!

Things Mom Taught Us

mother taught us TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE -"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"
mother taught us RELIGION -"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
mother taught us about TIME TRAVEL:" If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
mother taught us LOGIC-"Because I said so, that's why."
mother taught us FORESIGHT -"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
mother taught us IRONY -"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."
mother taught us about the science of OSMOSIS -"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
mother taught us about CONTORTIONISM -"Will you 'look' at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
mother taught us about STAMINA -"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."
mother taught us about WEATHER -"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
mother taught us about HYPOCRISY-"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"
mother taught us THE CIRCLE OF LIFE -"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
mother taught us about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION -"Stop acting like your father!"
mother taught us about ENVY -"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
THANKS, MOM!

Language: Be Clear with Facts

Often times we use clichés or shoot out facts and think that our listeners understand what we mean, when really they are lost to our meaning. It is important that we are clear what words really mean and facts really are, when we use them in our critical thinking processes with others. Here are examples of information which are placed here as a public service to broaden your knowledge base. Hopefully, this will remind you, the next time you are so quick with a cliché or fast fact, to be sure you have your information correct.

Did You Know That....

The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; "7" was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the direction of the bubbles.
Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.
American car horns beep in the tone of F.
No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times.
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.
A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class.
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA."
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
The 57 on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of varieties pickles the company once had.
The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
The first owner of the Marlboro company died of lung cancer.
Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
Betsy Ross is the only real person to ever have been the head on a Pez dispenser.
Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
Adolf Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.
Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public.
Walt Disney was afraid of mice.
The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in jelly
Debra Winger was the voice of E.T.
Pearls melt in vinegar.
It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
Average life span of a major league baseball: seven pitches.
A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why.
The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases
Richard Milhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name contains all the letters from the word "criminal."
The second? William Jefferson Clinton

Language: A Play on Words

What can interfere in our critical thinking and problem solving processes can be the use of words we use to describe our problems. It is important that we are clear on the meaning of words we want to use in our problem solving process so that we are on track to getting to a solution rather than being off track and running down a "bunny hole." Here are some cute reminders of how we currently slaughter the English language with our play on words.

Seen on T-Shirts:

"Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam" (seen on Cape Cod)
"That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!" (seen on an 8 year old)
"Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up"
"Procrastinate Now"
"Rehab Is for Quitters"
"My Dog Can Lick Anyone"
"I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?"
"Party - My Crib - Two A.M." (on a baby-size shirt)
"Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been Doing Since I was 15
"All men are idiots, and I married their king"
"West Virginia: One Million People, and 15 last names"
"Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with the software.
"I'm out of estrogen and I've got a gun!"
"A hangover is the wrath of grapes"
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance"
"Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!"
"Moosehead: A great beer and a new experience for a moose"
"They call it "PMS" because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken"
"He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead"
"Time's fun when you're having flies.......Kermit the Frog"
"Police Station Toilet Stolen ... Cops have nothing to go on."
"For Sale: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once."
"Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh!"
"A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up a thousand times the memory."
"The Meek shall inherit the earth....after we're through with it."
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."
"Ham and Eggs - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig"
"The trouble with life is there's no background music."
"If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?"
"Suicidal Twin Kills Sister By Mistake!"
"The original point-and-click interface was a Smith & Wesson."
"My wild oats have turned to shredded wheat"
"Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit."
"Computer programmers know how to use their hardware."
"Mop and Glow - Floor wax used by Three-Mile-Island cleanup team."
"Nyquil -The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine"
"Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research."
"My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't"

Seen on Instruction Labels

Here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a handheld hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
On a bag of chips: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
On a bar of deodorant soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost."
On package of Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down."
On package Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
On packaging for a hand iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
On a Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
On a Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
On a food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
On can of peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts."
On an Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
On a chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
On a bottle of Dishwashing liquid: "Do not use on food."
On a tube of Toothpaste: "If swallowed contact poison control."
On a bottle of laundry detergent: "Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine."

Seen on Signs

Spotted in a toilet in a London office block: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Sign on a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

On a church door: THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR. (THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT. PLEASE USE SIDE DOOR.)

Sign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the Prince of Wales: THE TOWN HALL IS CLOSED UNTIL OPENING. IT WILL REMAIN CLOSED AFTER BEING OPENED. OPEN TOMORROW.

Outside a photographer's studio: OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO

Outside a disco: SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN... EVERYONE WELCOME

Sign warning of quicksand: QUICKSAND. ANY PERSON PASSING THIS POINT WILL BE DROWNED. BY ORDER OF THE DISTRICT COUNCIL.

Notice in a dry cleaner's window: ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF

Sign on motorway garage: PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS... YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS

Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR

Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

The Alphabet of Friendship

A Friend....

A)ccepts you as you are
B)elieves in "you"
C)alls you just to say "Hi"
D)oesn't give up on you
E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
F)orgives your mistakes
G)ives unconditionally to you
H)elps you
J)ust wants to "be" with you
K)eeps you close at heart
L)oves you just for being you
M)akes a difference in your life
N)ever judges you
O)ffers you support
P)icks you up
Q)uiets your fears
R)aises your spirits
S)ays nice things about you
T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it
U)nderstands you
V)alues you
W)alks beside you
X)-plains things you don't understand
Y)ells when you won't listen and
Z)aps you back to reality

Why husbands aren't secretaries...

Husband's note to wife:

"Doctor's office called: 'Pabst beer is normal.' "

What'sssz That?

In the Beginning, God created Heaven and Earth and then He created man:

God said, "Adam, I want you to do something for me."

Adam said, "Gladly, what do You want me to do?"

God said, "Go down into that valley."

And Adam said, "What's a valley?"

And God explained it to him. Then God said, "Cross the river."

And Adam said, "What's a river?"

And God explained to him, and then said, "Go over to the hill."

And Adam said, "What is a hill?"

And God explained that to him. Then He told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave."

And Adam said, "What's a cave?"

And God explained that to him, then said, "In the cave you will find a Woman."

And Adam said, "What's a woman?"

So God explained that to him, and said, "I want you to reproduce."

And Adam said, "How do I do that?"

So God explained to him.

So off went Adam, down into the valley, across the
river, and over the hill, and into the cave and found the woman, and in about fifteen minutes, Adam was back.

God patiently replied, as He always does, "Yes... how can I help you?"

And Adam said, "What's a headache?"

Anagrams

An Anagram is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. Such as...

George Bush: When you rearrange the letters: He bugs Gore
Dormitory: When you rearrange the letters: Dirty Room
Evangelist: When you rearrange the letters: Evil's Agent
Desperation: When you rearrange the letters: A Rope Ends It
The Morse Code: When you rearrange the letters: Here Come Dots
Slot Machines: When you rearrange the letters: Cash Lost in 'em
Animosity: When you rearrange the letters: Is No Amity
Mother-in-law: When you rearrange the letters: Woman Hitler
Snooze Alarms: When you rearrange the letters: Alas! No More Z's
A Decimal Point: When you rearrange the letters: I'm a Dot in Place
The Earthquakes: When you rearrange the letters: That Queer Shake
Eleven plus two: When you rearrange the letters: Twelve plus one

Success

Success is:

At age 4, success is ~ not peeing your pants
At age 12, success is ~ having friends
At age 22, success is. ~ having sex
At age 35, success is ~ making money
At age 60, success is ~ having sex
At age 70, success is ~ having friends
At age 80, success is ~ not peeing your pants

To assist you to navigate these Stories to Improve Your Critical Thinking just click onto the next topic you want to go to:

Language
- Language 1
- Language 2
Logic

Coping.org is a Public Service of James J. Messina, Ph.D. & Constance M. Messina, Ph.D., Email: jjmess@tampabay.rr.com ©1999-2007 James J. Messina, Ph.D. & Constance Messina, Ph.D. Note: Original materials on this site may be reproduced for your personal, educational, or noncommercial use as long as you credit the authors and website.