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Assumptions
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Assumptions About What is Important
We all have a choice in life to do and be what we want to be.
However too many of us set standards of success way higher than we will ever be
able to attain for ourselves in life. There are faulty assumptions which
underlie goals which we set so high that we make ourselves feel frustrated,
immobilized, and failures in their pursuit. Watch for your faulty assumptions as
you go in life and do not ignore the obvious more obtainable goals which present
themselves daily to you. The following examples bring this message home to use.
Mean Moms
Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that
motivates a parent, I will tell them...
- I loved you enough...to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time
you would be home.
- I loved you enough...to insist that you save your money and buy a bike for
yourself even though we could afford to buy one for you.
- I loved you enough...to be silent and let you discover that your new best
friend was a creep.
- I loved you enough...to make you go pay for the bubble gum you had taken
and tell the clerk, "I stole this yesterday and want to pay for
it."
- I loved you enough...to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned
your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
- I loved you enough...to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my
eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.
- I loved you enough...to let you assume the responsibility for your actions
even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
- But most of all, I loved you enough...to say NO when I knew you would hate
me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won
them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday kids when your children are old enough to understand the logic
that motivates parents, you will tell them....
- Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole
world!
- While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and
toast.
- When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.
- And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from
what other kids had, too.
- Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were
convicts in a prison.
- She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them.
- She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would
be gone for an hour or less.
- We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child
Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds,
learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts
of cruel jobs.
- I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.
- She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing
but the truth.
- By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds.
- Then, life was really tough!
- Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up.
They had to come up to the door so she could meet them.
- While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait
until we were 16.
- Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids
experienced.
- None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property
or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault. Now that we have left
home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be
mean parents just like Mom was.
I think that is what's wrong with the world today.
It just doesn't have enough mean moms.
Closed-book Quiz
- Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
- Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
- Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.
- Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.
- Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for Best
Actor and Actress.
- Name the last decade's worth of World Series Winners.
How did you do?
The point is, none of us remembers the headliners of
yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They're the best in their fields.
But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and
certificates are buried with their owners.
Now here's another quiz.
See how you do on this one:
- List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
- Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult
time.
- Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
- Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated
and special.
- Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
- Name a half dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.
Easier?
The lesson?
The people who make a difference in your life aren't the ones
with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They're the ones
who care.
The Winning Spirit
A few years ago, at the Seattle Special Olympics, nine contestants, all
physically or mentally disabled, assembled at the starting line for the 100-yard
dash. At the gun, they all started out, not exactly in a dash, but with a relish
to run the race to the finish and win.
All, that is, except one little boy who stumbled on the asphalt, tumbled over
a couple of times, and began to cry. The other eight heard the boy cry. They
slowed down and looked back. Then they all turned around and went
back......every one of them. One girl with Down's Syndrome bent down and kissed
him and said, "This will make it better." Then all nine linked arms
and walked together to the finish line. Everyone in the stadium stood, and the
cheering went on for several minutes. People who were there are still telling
the story. Why?
Because deep down we know this one thing: What matters in this life is more
than winning for ourselves. What matters in this life is helping others win,
even if it means slowing down and changing our course.
Clear up Assumptions Prior to Making
Agreements
When you are engaged in problem solving, decision making, and
conflict resolution with others, it is imperative that you clear up and test out
all of your assumptions with the other people with whom you are making
agreements, contracts, or problem resolutions. To not clarify your assumptions
can have dangerous or problematical results as the following example
demonstrates.
Time's up!
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While
on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked
"Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2
months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift,
liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair
color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well
make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing
the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had
another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the
ambulance?"
God replied, "I didn't recognize you."
Ladle
Brian Smith invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the
meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian's
roommate, Stephanie, was.
Mrs. Smith had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and his
roommate, Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious. Over the
course of the evening, while watching the two react, Mrs. Smith started to
wonder if there was more between Brian and his roommate, Stephanie, than met the
eye.
Reading his Mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you
must be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just
roommates."
About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever since your
mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy
ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be
sure."
So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying that you 'did'
take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the
gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were
here for dinner."
Several days later, Brian received a e-mail from his mother that read:
"Dear son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Stephanie, and I'm not
saying that you 'do not' sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains that if she
was sleeping in her own bed, she would've found the Gravy Ladle by now."
Love, Mom Have a good day..... :-)
Applicants
Two young men applied for an engineering position. The two applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked to take a
test by the department manager. Upon completion of the test both men missed only one of the
questions. The manager went to the second of the two and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided
to give the job to the other final applicant."
The rejected applicant said, "And why would you be doing that? We
both got 9 questions correct. May I ask what made you decide to take the other applicant given the same qualifications and the same scores
on the test?"
"We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed," the officious manager insisted.
"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"
asked the rejected applicant.
"Simple, the other applicant answered, "I don't know" on question #5. You put down, "Neither do I."
Songsters
A man enters his local bar holding a frog and iguana. He sets them down on the bar and says to the bartender, "I bet you $1000 that my frog here can sing any song you can think of." "Ok," says the bartender. "How 'bout 'Blue Moon'?" The man whispers something to the frog, and the frog starts singing blue moon. "That's amazing," says the bartender as he slaps down $1000.
"I'll bet ya another $1000 that my iguana here can do that to." "Ok, I can believe a frog, but not an iguana. You're on. Have him sing the Star Spangled
Banner." The man whispers something to the iguana and it sings the Star Spangled Banner.
As the bartender hands over another $1000, a business man comes up and says, "I just saw that and I was amazed. I want to buy your iguana for $100,000."
The man said ok, and he exchanged the iguana for the money and the business man left. The bartender said "What are you nuts?! You could have made millions with that iguana!"
The man said "Oh, the iguana can't sing. The frog's a ventriloquist."
Beware of the "Taking Things for Granted"
Assumption
You can really put your brain "on hold" and not be
using your critical thinking if you fall into the trap of "Taking Things
for Granted." This is a faulty assumption which can get you into trouble.
It can cloud your thinking, feelings, and actions. It can make you
misunderstood, misdirected, and misinformed. It is imperative that you watch for
this type of assumption so that you are ever aware of the impact your feelings,
thoughts, and actions have on others as well as on yourself. The following
examples bring this issue clearly home.
Who You Are Makes a Difference
A teacher in New York decided to honor each of her seniors in high school by
telling them the difference they each made. She called each student
to the front of the class, one at a time. First she told each of them how they
had made a difference to her and the class. Then she presented each of them with
a blue ribbon imprinted with gold letters, which read "Who I Am Makes a
Difference."
Afterwards the teacher decided to do a class project to see what
kind of impact recognition would have on a community. She gave each of the
students three more ribbons and instructed them to go out and spread this
acknowledgment ceremony. Then they were to follow up on the results, see who
honored whom and report back to the class in about a week.
One of the boys in the class went to a junior executive in a
nearby company and honored him for helping him with his career planning. He gave
him a blue ribbon and put it on his shirt. Then he gave him two extra ribbons
and said, "We're doing a class project on recognition, and we'd like
you to go out, find somebody to honor, give them a blue ribbon, then give them
the extra blue ribbon so they can acknowledge a third person to keep this
acknowledgment ceremony going. Then please report back to me and tell me what
happened."
Later that day the junior executive went in to see his boss, who
had been noted, by the way, as being kind of a grouchy fellow. He sat his boss
down and he told him that he deeply admired him for being a creative genius. The
boss seemed very surprised. The junior executive asked him if he would accept
the gift of the blue ribbon and would he give him permission to put it on him.
His surprised boss said, "Well, sure." The junior executive took the
blue ribbon and placed it right on his boss's jacket above his heart. As he gave
him the last extra ribbon, he said, "Would you do me a favor? Would you
take this extra ribbon and pass it on by honoring somebody else. The young
boy who first gave me the ribbons is doing a project in school and we want
to keep this recognition ceremony going and find out how it affects
people."
That night the boss came home to his 14-year-old son and sat him
down. He said, "The most incredible thing happened to me today. I was in my
office and one of the junior executives came in and told me he admired me and
gave me a blue ribbon for being a creative genius. Imagine! He thinks I'm a
creative genius! Then he put this blue ribbon that says 'Who I Am Makes a
Difference' on my jacket above my heart. He gave me an extra ribbon and asked me
to find somebody else to honor. As I was driving home tonight, I started
thinking about whom I would honor with this ribbon and I thought about you. I
want to honor you. My days are really hectic and when I come home I don't pay a
lot of attention to you. Sometimes I scream at you for not getting good enough
grades in school and for your bedroom being a mess, but somehow tonight, I just
wanted to sit here and, well, just let you know that you do make a difference to
me. Besides your
mother, you are the most important person in my life. You're a great kid and I
love you!"
The startled boy started to sob and sob and he couldn't stop
crying. His whole body shook. He looked up at his father and said through his
tears, "Dad, earlier tonight I sat in my room and wrote a letter to you and
Mom explaining why I had killed myself and asking you to forgive me. I was going
to commit suicide tonight after you were asleep. I just didn't think that you
cared at all. The letter is upstairs. I don't think I need it after all."
His father walked upstairs and found a heart-felt letter full of
anguish and pain. The envelope was addressed, "Mom & Dad".
The boss went back to work a changed man. He was no longer a
grouch but made sure to let all his employees know that they made a difference.
The junior executive helped several other young people with career planning and
never forgot to let them know that they made a difference in his life...one
being the boss's son. By the way, the young boy and his classmates learned a
valuable lesson.
Who you are DOES make difference.
Winning the Lottery
A woman gets home, screeches her car into the driveway, runs
into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of her lungs, "Honey,
pack your bags! I won the Lottery!"
The husband says, "Wow, I can't believe it!! What should I pack, beach
stuff or mountain stuff?"
"It doesn't matter", the wife yells back, "just get the HECK
out!"
The
Snitch
Hello, is this the FBI?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding
marijuana inside his firewood."
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the
shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood,
but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left..
The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.
"Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yep."
"Merry Christmas Buddy"
Money
-
It
can buy a House But not a Home
-
It
can buy a Bed But not Sleep
-
It
can buy a Clock But not Time
-
It
can buy you a Book But not Knowledge
-
It
can buy you a Position But not Respect
-
It
can buy you Medicine But not Health
-
It
can buy you Blood But not Life
-
It
can buy you Sex But not Love
-
So
you see money isn't everything.
-
And
it often causes pain and suffering.
-
I
tell you all this because I am your Friend.
-
I
am your Friend, And as your Friend,
-
I
want to take away your pain and suffering...
-
So
send me all your money and I will suffer for you.
-
CASH
ONLY PLEASE
Unlearned Lessons
-
Do not walk
behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I
may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
-
The journey of
a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
-
It's always
darkest before dawn, so if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper,
that's the time to do it.
-
Don't be
irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
-
Always
remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
-
Never test the
depth of the water with both feet.
-
It may be that
your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a bad example.
-
It is far more
impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
-
If you think
nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
-
Before you
criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That
way, when you criticize them, you're a mile way and you have their shoes.
-
If at first
you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
-
Give a man a
fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit
in a boat & drink beer all day.
-
If you lend
someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
-
Don't squat
with your spurs on.
-
If you tell
the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
-
Some days you
are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
-
Don't worry,
it only seems kinky the first time.
-
Good judgment
comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
-
The quickest
way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket.
-
Timing has an
awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
-
A closed mouth
gathers no foot.
-
Duct tape is
like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the
universe together.
-
There are two
theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
-
Generally
speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.
-
Experience is
something you don't get until just after you need it.
-
Never miss a
good chance to shut up.
-
We
are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse
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