Session 7

This free Online Course Developed by: Melissa Fry, M.Ed. English. To obtain college level instructional support for this course contact Melissa Fry melissa.fry@kctcs.edu.

Throughout this course, you will be asked to generate journal entries.The purpose of these entries is to get your brain warmed up and your creative juices flowing. You may or may not end up using your journal for writing later in the course; however, the main focus on this exercise is to get you writing. Journal entries should be ½ to 1 page in length. You should not worry about proofreading at this point. Simply let your words flow. A journal topic will be posted daily; however, if you do not like the topic simply free-write on your own topic of choice.

Journal # 6 Write about the greatest lesson you ever learned either in or out of school.

Assignment # 6 from your textbook asked you to review correct comma usage. Remember from Session # 6 that commas are used to separate items in a list and to indicate pauses in a sentence. After completing this assignment, you should now be confident in comma use.

2. Everyone, though frustrated by pollution, can play a part in improving the environment.

3. Professor Jones, who has written three books, is considered an authority in her field.

4. Sarah mistakenly made dates on the same evening with Joe and Bill, even though she had promised herself to be more careful.

Lannon says in your textbook that an essay’s basic design (introduction, body, and conclusion) makes its content accessible to readers. Yet this larger design depends on the smaller design of each paragraph. A paragraph is a place for things that belong together.

Authors James W. Heffernan and John E. Lincoln in Writing, A College Handbook, make these observations regarding paragraphs:

A paragraph is usually a block of sentences set off by spacing or indentation at the beginning. Though commonly part of an essay, a paragraph can and sometimes does serve as an essay in its own right. Just as you learn to separate sentences of a paragraph, you should also learn how to relate the separate paragraphs of an essay, and how to move smoothly from one paragraph to another. (167).

1. At one time migrants had set forth in tribes. They wandered across The steppe or edged out of the forests down to the plains with wives and children and cattle in the long columns of all their possessions. Home was where they were and movement did not disrupt the usual order of their ways. It was quite otherwise in human experience when some among the Europeans of the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries migrated. Often it was a man alone, an individual, who went, one who in going, left home, that is cut himself apart from the associations and attachments that until then had given meaning to his life. Some inner restlessness or external compulsion sent wanders away solitary on a personal quest to which they give various names, such as fortune or salvation

2. At one time migrants had set forth in tribes. They wandered across The steppe or edged out of the forests down to the plains with wives and children and cattle in the long columns of all their possessions. Home was where they were and movement did not disrupt the usual order of their ways. It was quite otherwise in human experience when some among the Europeans of the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries migrated. Often it was a man alone, an individual, who went, one who in going, left home, that is cut himself apart from the associations and attachments that until then had given meaning to his life. Some inner restlessness or external compulsion sent wanders away solitary on a personal quest to which they give various names, such as fortune or salvation. (167-168).

You can clearly see from Heffernan and Lincoln’s example how a long stretch of writing can wear out the reader. In writing, paragraph breaks need to occur whenever the topic switches gears. Here from Heffernan and Lincoln is another long stretch of writing. Print out the following exercise and try to divide this passage into manageable paragraphs. Hint: there are three different subjects expressed, thus you need to divided this passage into three paragraphs.

There are days when I find myself unduly pessimistic about the future of man. Indeed, I will confess that there have been occasions when I swore I would never again make the study of time a profession. My walls are lined with books expounding its mysteries; my hands have been split and rubbed raw with grubbing into the quicklime of its waste bins and hidden crevices. I have stared so much at death that I can recognize the lingering personalities in the faces of skulls and feel accompanying affinities and repulsions. One such skull lies in the lockers of a great metropolitan museum. It is labeled simply: Strandlooper, South Africa. I have never looked longer into any human face than I have upon the features of that skull. I would come there often in spite of myself. It is a face that would lend reality to the fantastic tales of our childhood. There is a hint of Well’s Time Machine folk in it – those pathetic, childlike people whom Wells pictures as haunting earth’s autumnal cities in the far future of the dying planet. Yet this skull has not been spirited back to us through future eras by a time machine. It is a thing, instead, of the millennial past. It is a caricature of modern man, not by reason of it’s primitiveness but, startlingly, because of a modernity outreaching his own. It constitutes, in fact, a very mysterious prophecy and warning. For at the very moment in which students of humanity have been sketching their concept of the man of the future, that being has already come, and lived, and passed away. (168-169).

One such skull lies in the lockers of a great metropolitan museum. It is labeled simply: Strandlooper, South Africa. I have never looked longer into any human face than I have upon the features of that skull. I would come there often in spite of myself. It is a face that would lend reality to the fantastic tales of our childhood. There is a hint of Well’s Time Machine folk in it – those pathetic, childlike people whom Wells pictures as haunting earth’s autumnal cities in the far future of the dying planet.

Yet this skull has not been spirited back to us through future eras by a time machine. It is a thing, instead, of the millennial past. It is a caricature of modern man, not by reason of it’s primitiveness but, startlingly, because of a modernity outreaching his own. It constitutes, in fact, a very mysterious prophecy and warning. For at the very moment in which students of humanity have been sketching their concept of the man of the future, that being has already come, and lived, and passed away. (168-169).

After reading this passage you should have discovered there are three central ideas expressed. The first idea and thus the first paragraph have to do with the author’s study in general. The topic of the second paragraph has to do with the author’s study of one specific skull. The topic of the third paragraph has to do with the skull’s ramifications for the future.

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Just like too long of a passage of writing without paragraph breaks can be determential to the reader’s understanding and interest level, a passage of writing with too many paragraph breaks may appear choppy and unorganized to the reader. Let’s look at another example provided by Heffernan and Lincoln of a passage in which the paragraphs are much too short. Print out this exercise and combine the paragraphs so that each one marks a turn in the writer’s thoughts.

Humble Jewett reveals his love of natural beauty in several ways. When he and Amanda reach the crest of the hill, he kneels down and prays to the Creator. He is moved to worship by the sight of sunlight lining the distant treetops. He has a similar reaction later in the story as he is walking to Wyker’s house. He is so awestruck by the splendor of the sunset that he doesn’t notice the wound in his leg. The sight of human beauty also casts a spell. He wants to kiss Amanda, yet he holds back, restrained by her loveliness. It’s as if he chooses to keep radiant beauty pure, within his sight, but beyond his reach. (169).

The sight of human beauty also casts a spell. He wants to kiss Amanda, yet he holds back, restrained by her loveliness. It’s as if he chooses to keep radiant beauty pure, within his sight, but beyond his reach. (169).

As you read the passage, you should have realized that even though there were four paragraphs, the writer was only talking about two ideas. The first idea is how Humble Jewett reveals his love of natural beauty. Thus, the first three paragraphs should be combined into one. The second idea expressed by the writer is how human beauty also effects Jewett. The last paragraph thus becomes the second paragraph in the passage.

When writing paragraphs, strive for balance, not too long and not too short. Have a variety of long and short paragraphs to lend to your reader’s comprehension of your material. A good rule of thumb for dividing paragraphs is to group sentences by subject area as the following example indicates

Read the following selection and mark where you think new paragraphs should start.

A few hundred years ago, alligators thrived in the southeastern part of the United States. It is estimated that Florida alone had more than a million of these reptiles. With the coming of great numbers of people during the colonial period, the days of alligator supremacy were about to end. Alligators were hunted for sport and killed for their hide, which was made into prized leather. As farms, towns, and cities spread across the land, alligator habitats were destroyed. By the mid-1960s alligators were in danger of becoming extinct, and in 1967 they were declared an endangered species. Hunting was prohibited, and habitats were protected. It was hoped that such measures would enable the alligator population to increase. Alligators have taken advantage of this protection. They have made a remarkable comeback. Their numbers have grown so rapidly that some states again allow hunting. In fact, there are so many alligators in parts of Florida that they wander onto lawns and find their way into residential swimming pools!

A few hundred years ago, alligators thrived in the southeastern part of the United States. It is estimated that Florida alone had more than a million of these reptiles.

With the coming of great numbers of people during the colonial period, the days of alligator supremacy were about to end. Alligators were hunted for sport and killed for their hide, which was made into prized leather. As farms, towns, and cities spread across the land, alligator habitats were destroyed.

By the mid-1960s alligators were in danger of becoming extinct, and in 1967 they were declared an endangered species. Hunting was prohibited, and habitats were protected. It was hoped that such measures would enable the alligator population to increase.

Alligators have taken advantage of this protection. They have made a remarkable comeback. Their numbers have grown so rapidly that some states again allow hunting. In fact, there are so many alligators in parts of Florida that they wander onto lawns and find their way into residential swimming pools!

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Now that you have learned how to correctly arrange paragraphs, consider this passage from Heffernan and Lincoln that badly needs paragraph structure. Print out this exercise and rearrange the passage into paragraphs by subject.

My life has been a very satisfying one so far. I’ve faced many challenges and attained some of the goals I’ve set. I am one of five children. I have two older sisters and two younger brothers. My father was a successful chef. He had a college degree in electrical engineering, but chose to study cooking instead. He traveled in Europe and worked with many different chefs. He had a great influence on all of our lives. He showed me what determination and hard work can do for a person. My mother was a good mother. She guided me in a practical way. I was able to learn and grow under their supervision. At times, it’s hard to attain confidence in some situations, but I think of my parents and continue on. I enjoy knitting and making things for others and I also love to cook. Preparing economical meals is a constant challenge. I like to read a lot. I also enjoy watching my son grow up. Children are a tremendous challenge. I read to him and try to let him be as creative as possible. I have also helped my husband go through his last year of college. It was a proud moment for me to watch him walk up and get his degree. I enjoyed working with him and learning as he did. You really get a good feeling when you’ve helped someone. Your rewards are twofold. Helping others is the main goal of my life. I enjoy people. So far, my life has been satisfactory to me. I’ve got future goals set to attain. I’ve got tons of hard work ahead of me. I just look forward to going day by day and getting further toward my one goal of a college education with a challenging job. (183-184).

Topic sentences can help further organize paragraphs, assisting the writer in figuring out what goes where. Topic sentences can also help the reader by organizing the material. On page 90, your textbook has some great suggestions for narrowing down your topic sentence. Your textbook also suggests on page 91 that if your main point of your paragraph has several distinct parts, resulting in an excessively large paragraph, you might want to break up this paragraph. A good way to do this is to have a brief introductory paragraph that previews the subparts, which are set off by individual paragraphs.

Page 92 in your textbook advises you to make sure that in your paragraphs every sentence belongs or supports the subject of your paragraph. Check out examples of a unified paragraph on page 92 versus a dis-unified paragraph on pages 92-93. You can clearly see the in the unified paragraph, every sentence supports the main idea that chemical pesticides are both ineffective and hazardous. In the dis-unified paragraph the main idea is whales are the most intelligent of all mammals. While the first two paragraphs support this subject, the last two sentences have to do with eating patterns and should be deleted from this paragraph.

When writing paragraphs, you should not only make sure everything belongs together but that your paragraph is coherent or sticks together. Your textbook on page 93 suggests that your topic sentence and support form a connected line of thought almost like links in a chain. When material follows a logical order, the reader knows exactly where they are at any place in the paragraph. Specific ways of assuring paragraph coherency are as follows:

2. Specific to general:start with supporting details and broaden to general observation - p. 95

3. Emphatic order: emphasis makes important things stand out. A writer can emphasis items in a paragraph from most important to least important or vice versa – pp. 96-97

4. Spatial order: create a word picture by treating a subject in the same order that a reader would follow if he or she were actually looking at it – p. 97

5. Chronological order: follows actual sequence of events, step 1, step 2, step 3 –pp. 97-98

1. Parallelism: similar grammatical structures and word order for similar items – p. 99

In a paragraph, you must strive for consistency. As you learned in completing Assignment # 3, you should always use a consistent tense and point of view, and shift from person to person. Transitions also help your paragraph and your entire essay flow smoothly. Transition examples can be found on page 102 in your textbook.

Your homework assignment tonight will help you practice concepts that you learned in today’s session. Assignment 7-1 on pp. 103-104 will give you practice in paragraph division and Assignment 7-3 on p. 105 should assist you in identifying and using transitions.

How to Improve Your Writing

SESSION 7