 How
to Improve Your Writing
SESSION 11
This
free Online Course
Developed by: Melissa Fry, M.Ed. English. To obtain college level instructional support
for this course contact
Melissa Fry melissa.fry@kctcs.edu.
Content:
Journal
Throughout this course
you will be asked to generate journal entries. The purpose of these entries is to get your brain warmed up
and your creative juices flowing. You
may or may not end up using your journal for writing later in the course;
however, the main focus on this exercise is to get you writing.
Journal entries should be ½ to 1 page in length.
You should not worry about proofreading at this point.
Simply let your words flow. A
journal topic will be posted daily; however, if you do not like the topic simply
free-write on your own topic of choice.
Journal # 10
Which song title best describes your life at this point and time and
why?
Homework
According to your textbook,
correctness in abbreviation, hyphenation, capitalization, use of numbers, and spelling demonstrates
your attention to detail (Lannon, 450). Assignment
# 9 should have provided help for you in these areas.
To further review:
1. Abbreviations When in doubt, write the word out. Formal
writing either in school or the workplace should be absent of abbreviations with
the exception of abbreviations that proceed a proper name as in: Mr., Ms., Miss., Mrs., and
Dr.
Fl = Florida
St.=Street
2. Hyphen Hyphens divide words at the right margin and join two or more words
used as an adjective.
self – discipline
ex-faculty member
3. Capitalization For further
information, review the mini lesson on capitalization from Session # 5.
Basically if the noun (person, place, or thing) has a name, it should be
capitalized.
Noun (common
noun)
Noun with name (proper noun)
war
World War II
boy
Andy Smith
4. Use of Numbers Numerals should be used to express numbers over 100, decimals, fractions,
precise technical figures, any exact measurement, dates, census figures,
addresses, page numbers, exact units of measurement, percentages, times with
a.m. or p.m. designations, and monetary and mileage figures.
All other numbers should be written out.
NOTE: Never begin a sentence with a number.
5.
Spelling
For further information, review the mini lesson on spelling from Session
# 2.
CHECK HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENTS
A-12
1.
Dr. Jones, our English Prof., drives a red Maserati.
2.
Eighty-five students in the survey rated self-discipline as essential for
success in college.
3.
Since 1987, my goal has been to live in the Northwest.
4.
Senator Tarbell has collected forty-five hand-made rugs from the Middle
East.
5.
During my third year at Margate University, I wrote twenty-three papers
on the Russian Revolution.
6.
One Hundred bottles of beer are on the wall.
Library assignment
If you remember from the video: How
to Write an Essay, one of the first steps of pre-writing was to understand
your assignment. Your last writing
assignment of Composition I is to write an informational essay keeping to the
following requirements:
q
Any topic is acceptable, the goal is to inform your readers
q
Essay should be 2-3 pages in length
q
A minimum of two sources must be used and documented by MLA format
q
Correct format of Works Cited at end of Essay
q
Following the formula for formal writing this essay must have:
Introduction: Attention getter
Thesis statement (if using
organizational pattern from Chapters 12-16, must mention this pattern in thesis)
Body: Support for points mentioned in thesis statement
Evidence and support from two outside sources
Transitional words and phrases for fluency
Conclusion: restatement
of thesis statement
End with an impact
Please read the following example
of an informational essay from a former student.
Observe how he effectively balances his own experience with outside
information for an engaging and interesting essay on skydiving.
For extra practice try printing out Trenkamp’s essay and identifying
his introduction: attention getter, thesis statement; body: support,
transitions; and conclusion: restatement of thesis statement and ending with an
impact.
READ this student's INFORMATIVE ESSAY
2
Miles Up and Falling
Awesome. Insane.
Exhilarating. Terrifying.
Peaceful. Nerve-racking.
No matter if someone likes or dislikes skydiving, just mention the word
“skydiving” and you can be sure of getting some sort of emotional reaction.
The same person may even give you several conflicting emotions.
For me, skydiving brings up feelings of excitement, terror, nervousness,
tranquility, and a sense of truly being alive every time I jump.
One reaction many people have is that skydiving is extremely dangerous.
While skydiving once was extremely dangerous; today, the fatal accident
rate for skydiving is lower than for traffic accidents (25 per 100,000 as
opposed to 28 per 100,000, in 1989) (www.afn.org/skydive/sta/stats).
What many people don’t realize is the long history of the development
of the parachute, the technical advancements in equipment, and the amount of
training required.
The ancient Chinese and Leonardo da Vinci are both credited as having
invented the parachute (Carey, 143); however, neither actually built a prototype
of their drawn creations. It
wasn’t until at least a hundred years later, in 1595, that a parachute was
first built and tested by Fausto Veranzio.
He tested it by jumping off of a tower (Sellick, 2).
The first known fatality came in 1837 when Robert Cocking plunged to his
death from 5,000 feet when his canopy failed to open properly.
In the mid to late 1800’s, parachutes came into regular use as an
exhibition stunt that was performed at “county fairs, circuses, and other
crowd-gathering events”(Sellick, 4). The
original design was a parachute hanging from beneath a gondola of a hot-air
balloon. The stuntman would be in a
separate basket below the parachute, attached to the parachute by means of a
pole and cords. Over time, however,
the crowds became bored with this show when it became obvious that the daredevil
would almost always land safely. To
increase attendance, a trapeze bar replaced the basket.
The daredevil would thrill the audience by performing tricks on the bar
while the balloon was ascending. This,
too, soon began to bore the crowds. Finally,
the stunt was made even more dangerous when the parachute was hidden in a sack.
This gave the crowd the impression that the daredevil was falling to his
death; then unexpectedly, a canopy appeared out of nowhere to safely lower the
man to the ground (Sellick, 1-6). Today,
experienced skydivers are still enthralling crowds by putting on amazing
daredevil shows. Much of what has
been learned about parachutes over the years is because of men and women who
were willing to risk their lives to see how far parachutes could be pushed.
Although today the parachute is closely associated with daredevils and
planes; it wasn’t until after World War I that the parachute began its
intimate connection with the recently invented airplane.
It was in 1919 that Leslie Irvin “made the first (intentional)
free-fall parachute descent near Dayton, Ohio” (Carey, 143).
Even though Leslie Irvin broke his ankle landing, this was a crucial
milestone for skydiving because he proved that a man could function normally
during free-fall. Up until then, it
was widely believed that if someone was to free-fall; that person would not be
able to control body movements since there was nothing to brace against. Furthermore, anyone in a free-fall would quickly lose
consciousness and would also have all the air sucked out of his or her lungs.
Three years later, Lieutenant Harold R. Harris became the first person to
save his life by making an emergency jump from a crippled airplane (Sellick,
8-9, 11).
Soon, the U.S. military began to research parachutes for the purpose of
providing airmen with a serious means of saving themselves in the event that
their airplane became crippled. This
led to improved parachute materials and better designs.
While the military was taking a scientific view of parachutes and
skydiving; the barnstormers and exhibitionists were using what they had learned
over the years and combining it with the new creations that the military was
developing. By doing this, these
daredevils were able to further test the bounds and limits of both the parachute
and the parachutist. The two
groups, the military and the daredevils, fed off of each other; creating better
equipment and what actions to undertake for all different kinds of situations.
The combined efforts reached an apex in August of 1960 when Captain
Joseph W. Kittinger, with the aid of oxygen tanks, free fell from an altitude of
102,800 feet. He free fell almost 5
minutes and reached a maximum speed of 614 mph before his main chute was
automatically deployed (Sellick, 11-12).
While today’s modern parachutes are a direct descendent of military
canopies, there are several key differences between the old military style
parachutes and the modern day ram-air parachutes.
To
begin with, the military chute had no realistic way to maneuver.
If you wanted to turn, you had to pull down on the cords on the side of
the parachute in the direction that you wanted to turn.
To turn faster, you had to pull down on more length of the cord.
Still, this more or less only changed the direction that the jumper was
facing. Otherwise, the jumper was
at the mercy of the wind. Today’s ram-air canopies are very maneuverable.
Just above the jumper there are two toggle handles, one on either side.
To turn left or right, simply pull down on the handle on the same side as
the direction desired. To turn
faster, the jumper merely has to pull down harder on the toggle.
Secondly,
the old, military style parachute had no functional means of slowing down the
descent speed upon landing. This
caused a great deal of unnecessary injuries.
At the speed that the jumper hit the ground, there was no other choice
but to roll as soon as the jumper’s feet touched the ground.
This method of landing led to countless numbers of broken bones and torn
ligaments in the lower half of the bodies of jumpers.
The more modern canopies, on the other hand, can bring the jumper down to
a soft, stand-up landing. This is
accomplished by pulling down both toggle handles at the same time, at the right
time.
Lastly,
actually deploying the parachute is less risky with today’s chutes than with
the military chutes. For starters,
the malfunction rate of the older style was higher than the newer style.
The ram-air canopies, although by no means foolproof, are more forgiving
to the jumper in the event that the canopy was not packed perfectly; and thus,
is more likely to correct itself upon deployment.
Also, the military canopies tended to pop open harder; increasing the
likelihood of the jumper being injured at the time of deployment. The
final comparison about deploying the parachute has to do with where the
parachutes are situated on the jumper. On
the ram-air parachutes, both the main and the reserve chute are located on the
jumper’s back; with the main parachute higher up on the jumper’s back and
the reserve located lower on the back. It is also easier to keep straight which ripcord/handle goes
to which parachute. The military
style ripcord/handle was often very confusing to a lesser-experienced jumper.
Furthermore, it was common for the reserve parachute to be located upon
the front of the jumper. With the standard position for free falling being face-down,
opening a parachute that was underneath the jumper could cause either: a)
entanglement of the jumper in the reserve parachute or b) a whipping action of
the jumper as the canopy was opening.
Even
though today’s parachutes are much safer to use, they are also much more
complex. As a result of this, the
civilian training programs of today have been modified to meet these
advancements--The basic military personnel still undergo about three weeks of
ground training before ever making the first jump.
In the early days of skydiving, only a minimal amount of knowledge in the
sport was necessary to make a solo free-fall jump.
Today, there are three different options from which to choose.
The
first option is the static jump. Before
someone makes his or her first static jump, five hours of ground training must
be taken. This ground training
covers everything from how to exit and release from the plane, to what to do in
a multitude of emergency situations. After
the six hours of training, the student(s) suit-up and board the plane to make
the first jump. While en route to
the jump site, the jumpmaster will connect the 15’ static line that goes from
the student’s main chute to a loop that is fastened to the inside of the plane
somewhere. Upon pushing away from
the plane, the static line will automatically pull the main chute from the pack.
After about five static line jumps; the student will then begin free-fall
lessons that incrementally increase in time of free-fall and the type of
maneuvers required. After
successfully completing about 15 jumps, the student will obtain a Class “A”
skydiving license (aerodromeskysports.com/static).
The
second option is the tandem jump. With
the tandem jump, the student jumps attached to a certified jump instructor.
When the student arrives the day of the jump, he or she will only have
about an hour of training before going up with the instructor to jump.
While the minimum age for the static line is 16; because tandem jumping
is still considered to be experimental, the student must be at least 18 years
old. While more expensive, tandem
jumping is the quickest way to experience the thrill of free-fall.
This type of instruction requires about 20 successful jumps to reach
licensed status (aerodromeskysports.com/tandem).
The
third option is AFF-Advanced Free Fall. This
course is more rigorous than the first two mentioned.
The first jump is identical to the first jump for the static jump
(including five hours of training). The
second jump, which can be made the same day, consists of two additional hours of
ground training and then the student jumps with two AFF instructors who guide
and help the student. After
free-falling for about a mile, 30 seconds, the student then deploys the
parachute manually. If the student
does not deploy as instructed, one of the instructors will deploy the parachute
for the student. There are about 20
required jump in AFF, which are broken up into eight different levels.
The minimum age requirement is 16 (aerodromeskysports.com/aff).
As
you can see, skydiving is an unusual sport rich in history.
Though the reputation of skydiving is dangerous, with the proper
equipment and training skydiving can be an extremely safe sport in which to get
involved. When it comes down to it,
receiving proper training, equipment, and information on the ground is what
determines how your experience will be in the air.
Almost every emergency that arises in skydiving can be walked away from;
but only if proper training on the ground on how to handle those situations is
taught first.
Work Cited
Carey, Keith. A
Beginner's Guide to Airsports. London:
A & C Black Limited, 1994.
Eclectic Studios Inc. (1998)."Student Skydive Program",
retrieved on June 1, 2003 from
http://www.aerodromeskysports.com/student.html,
1998.
Sellick, Bud. The
Wild, Wonderful World of Parachutes and Parachuting.
New Jersey:Prentice-Hall, Inc., 1981.
Spatz, Bradley C., "Skydiving Statistics",
http://www.afn.org/skydive/sta/stats.html
,12/94.
You will be working on the writing of this essay later in
the week. Your assignment for
Session # 11 is to come up with ideas for your topic. This can be done using any of the ideas such as
brainstorming, webbing, etc. mentioned in Session # 6.
Once you have a clear idea of topic then you need to hit the library
and/or the Internet and start finding research to support your topic.
Your topic generation and a list of these sources in correct MLA format
will be due on Session # 12.
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