Intro

Who is this Program for?

If you are or have been obese or 30 lbs or more over your ideal healthy weight, then answer the following set of questions to determine if the Tools for a Balanced Lifestyle Program is for you. Answer true or false if the following statements are currently true or have been true:

_____ 1. I have a poor body image and I do not like looking at myself in the mirror.

_____ 2. I am bothered by my weight and it interferes in my personal happiness.

_____ 3. I have problems gaining and maintaining intimate personal relationships, which are personally fulfilling.

_____ 4. I am bothered by compulsive behaviors (i.e.: dieting, shopping, gambling, risk taking, sex, mood altering drugs, alcohol, over the counter medications, prescription drugs, credit card use, relationships, excessive exercise, rescuing others, workaholism etc.)

_____ 5. I have low self-esteem when it comes to comparing my weight and body size to others.

_____ 6. I experience depression over my weight and body image.

_____ 7. I have tried a number of diet programs and been a yo-yo dieter and still regain my weight when I am done with the diets.

_____ 8. I do not maintain a healthy level of physical activity and/or exercise in my life.

_____ 9. I do not have a healthy understanding of food in my life.

_____ 10. I am sick and tired of having my weight related problems.

If you have answered true to 3 or more of the above questions and are or have been obese or 30 lbs or more over your ideal healthy weight, then the Tools for a Balanced Lifestyle Program is meant for you.

The Goal of the Program

The Tools for a Balanced Lifestyle Program is designed to assist its participants to develop new strategies for success in addressing the essential components of a healthy lifestyle of recovery from being overweight. The lifestyle changes include:

The weekly sessions address topics such as: going out to eat, being on vacation, being under stress, anger, hostility, jealousy, loneliness, fear, social anxiety, group pressure, desire to fit in, need for approval, financial stress, guilt, lack of trust, insecurity, inability to take risks, conditional acceptance which create triggers for relapse from success in maintaining a healthy relationship with food and maintaining a healthy exercise program in one’s life.

The weekly sessions address topics such as: the nutritional aspects of food. the chemistry of food, what research tells you about what foods are nutritious, the rational perspective on eating healthy, the appropriate priority of food in your life, the common sense approach to eating right, the "non-dieting" mentality, the freedom to eat without guilt, making eating a healthy habit, how to eat for living rather than living to eat etc.

Going Out: Understanding what the menu means when you go out to eat at restaurants to assist you to make good decisions about what and how you eat. This will help you to go out to eat more relaxing and hassle free.
What's in It? Identifying the contents of food as packaged in supermarkets and stores so as to make appropriate choices of foods to fit into your balanced lifestyle. This will help you recognize what is in the food you are eating and how it affects you.

Part 3: A Healthy Personal Exercise Program

The weekly sessions will assist you to improve your daily exercise program so that by the end of the twelve-week program you will be fully and entirely engaged in a healthy exercise program, which suits your physical needs. Topics to be covered are how to choose what is right for me, what stands in my way of exercising, what are my feelings and beliefs about exercise and exercising, what excuses do I give myself to prevent me from exercising the way my body needs me to etc….

Part 4: Personal Sharing and Personal Testimonials

The weekly sessions will also include a time for sharing of what has and is working for each of the participants so that in the sharing motivation and interest in pursuing news strategies of success with food, exercise and balanced living will be achieved.

Use of the Self-Esteem Seekers Anonymous (SEA's) Program of Recovery and Tools for Coping Series

It is expected that you will fully use all of the Self-Esteem Seekers Anonymous (SEA's) Program of Recovery and the Tools for Coping Series available on www.coping.org. These materials are "12 Step" oriented. In writing these materials not only did I address my self-esteem issues but I also addressed my life style issues. I am a recovering obese person. In 1985 I made a commitment to heal my low self-esteem and to get my life into balance. I began to write the Tools for Coping Books as a personal quest for my own recovery. A side benefit of working on my recovery from low self-esteem was that I was able to implement an aerobic exercise program into my life and was able to establish a new healthier guilt-free relationship with food.

The Self-Esteem Seekers Anonymous: The SEA'S Program, is the first book of the series. It covers the Self-esteem Model, 12 Step Program, Life Style of Recovery, and how to conduct a SEA's program in your community. The other series books are:

There are five major healing tools which have come out of these books which are used in the Balanced Lifestyles Program as well as in the SEA's Program. They are:

ALERT: The system of recovery to assist individuals to overcome the stress anxiety, panic and tension in their lives by becoming more rational about life and learning to relax in healthier ways.
ANGER: The system of recovery to assist individuals to release their anger which is masked in a variety of ways including self-destructive behaviors, withdrawal, stuffing it in, rage, revenge, passive aggressiveness, pessimism, hostility, sarcasm, cynicism, jumping to negative assumptions etc.
CHILD: The system of recovery to assist individuals to heal from within by developing ways to self-nurture themselves through self-affirmation, unconditional self-acceptance and self-love, letting go of shame and guilt, self-forgiveness, overcoming invisibility etc.
LET GO: The system of recovery to assist individuals to overcome their need to fix and be excessive caretakers of others, to let go of the need to manipulate or intimidate, to let go of helplessness or dependency on others, accepting powerlessness, letting go of the uncontrollables and unchangeables, developing detachment etc.
RELAPSE: The system which recognizes that all recovery is a series of relapses and the goal is to reduce the time between each relapse event, lessen the intensity and duration of the relapse event.

It is our hope, that as you pursue the Tools for Balanced Lifestyle Program you will work independently outside on the materials contained in the SEA's Program and Tools for Coping Series Books. You are also expected to maintain a personal journal on your recovery efforts to monitor and record your progress in the program. To successfully complete this Balanced Lifestyle Program will take a minimum of two years and for many of us (including myself) the rest of our lives.

My experience as I implemented the SEA's Program in my life, was that I lost my last unhealthy weight one year into my recovery efforts and it took another year to get into a lifestyle balance where I never needed to diet again. The SEA's Program is essential to the Tools for a Balanced Lifestyle Program because it helps you to use the TEA System so that you can change the way you Think, Feel and Act. It helps you to reframe your reality about your body, your relationship with food and exercise and your self-worth and self-deservedness to spend the time, energy, and resources needed to be successful in this program.

A Healthy Personal Exercise Program

A personal exercise program is a requirement for all participants and must be instituted by a participant within the first month of working on the Tools for a Balanced Lifestyle Program. The exercise program is essential if you are to gain anything from using this program. There are three ways by which this exercise requirement can be addressed:

1. Enrollment in the Health or Wellness Center associated with your physician under whose care you are presently located.

2. Participation with a personal trainer chosen on your own.

3. Development of a personal exercise program which is reviewed and approved by your physician.

By the end of the first month of the program, you should be keeping a weekly record of your healthy personal exercise program. A physician's release will be required in many cases before initiating an exercise program in a gym or with a personal trainer, so it is imperative that you let your physician know that you plan on implementing an exercise program. It is your responsibility to see your physician prior to initiating a personal exercise program.

What is Needed in Your Tools for a Balanced Lifestyle Kit?

You will need the following material to make your Tools for a Balanced Lifestyle Kit complete:

The nine books in the Tools for Coping Series Books on www.coping.org
The Tools for a Balanced Lifestyle on www.coping.org
Spiral notebooks for journal writing
A recipe box filled with blank 3 by 5 index cards for self-affirmation work
Loose leaf note paper for Write, Read and Burn anger work-outs
A 40 pound karate weight bag for anger workouts
A box of crayons and drawing paper for drawing pictures in Growing Down and Inner Child work
A full length mirror for mirror work for Child work of self-affirmations, re-parenting and self-forgiveness work
Exercise equipment and supplies needed for the exercise component of the program

Principles of the Tools for a Balanced Lifestyle Program

1. This is a life-style change program to modify your relationship with food, exercise, and body weight.

2. This program requires a great deal of accountability with a daily record sheet faxed in to the program facilitator by each group participant.

3. Your success in this program is not dependent on how much weight you lose but rather on how well you manage to continue to keep it off.

4. You will never be asked to compare your success with others in the program

5. You will be expected to follow a food program, which meets your needs, and if you do not have a good food program to follow you will be provided assistance to develop one unique to your personality, temperament, and life style.

6. You are expected to be engaged in a fully planned and developed exercise program by the end of your twelve weeks in this program.

7. This is a guilt-free program, so let go of your old notions and ideas about how guilt motivates you to be successful to lose weight or exercise.

8. Enter this program because it will be good for you. Do this program only for yourself and do not do it to please or to gain approval from others.

9. Do tell others you are involved with this program so that they can assist and support you to stay on your new programs of relating to food, exercise and weight management.

10. Do not set too high or too unrealistic goals for yourself as you enter the program.

11. Maintain realistic and reality based expectations and standards for yourself as you progress through this program.

12. Keep the focus only on yourself while working on and in this program of personal recovery. Let go of the need to fix or take care of your fellow participants in the program.

13. Keep an open mind to the suggestions offered in this program. Try something before you convince yourself it will never work for you.

14. Let go of your critical, judgmental and controlling attitudes as you enter this program so that you are able to hear the messages of hope, encouragement and support which it offers.

You will find that the time you spend on balancing your lifestyle will be the most productive investment you have ever made in your life.

Best of Luck as you begin your journey into a new Lifestyle, which is healthy and balanced.

Major concerns or issues, which are currently bothering me, which I need to address in this program:

Tools for a Balanced Lifestyle

A Program of Recovery from Weight Related Problems

Going for the 3 increases: Increase of Health; Increase of Happiness and Increase of Energy

Introduction