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Tools for a Balanced Lifestyle  

A Program of Recovery from Weight Related Problems

Going for the 3 increases: Increase of Health; Increase of Happiness and Increase of Energy

Chapter 5: A New Look at Body Image  

III. CHILD Work on Body Image

Cavepeople were able to accept their body image unconditionally because they were so thankful that they were still alive. They did not care what their bodies looked like as long as the blood was still running through their veins. They did not have shame or guilt for how their bodies looked because it was not of concern as long as they were still breathing. They were not perfectionistic about their bodies or parts of their bodies because they were happy if their bodies were still able to move and run when needed. They were not concerned about their bodies not being seen since they were more concerned that their bodies were seen and able to chase down their food sources was necessary. Lastly Cavepeople did not have a concern about their worth being dependent on their external looks, since survival of their whole existence was the main focus of their attention and time. Cavepeople were not concerned about their looks and body image. They were more concerned about their survival and living. How about you? Are you concerned more about how your body looks than about your survival and health? If you are not concerned about your survival and health then you, most probably, are not fully implementing the Tools for a Balanced Lifestyle in your current life. If you are not focused on the "3 Increases" of health, happiness and energy and are still worrying how your body looks to yourself and others, then you are miles away from becoming the caveperson ideal promoted in this program.  What you need to work on is to self-nurture yourself to let go of the conditional acceptance of your body. You need to let go of the shame and guilt over your body looks. You need to let go of the perfectionism which does not allow you to accept your body as being "good enough." You need to let go of the need for your body to be invisible. You need to change how you value yourself and let go of the dependency on your external looks to measure your self-worth. You can accomplish this self-nurturing and letting go of the causation of negative body image through the CHILD work which follows.  

First you need to CALM yourself down and center yourself with the visual imagery of you, your Higher Power and Inner Child in a union of inter-loving and inner sharing. You need to visualize you holding your Inner Child, which is your inner spirit, close to your heart. You then need to visualize your Higher Power hugging you and your inner spirit. This visualization helps you to focus on the concept of "strength transference." You gain strength from your Inner Child and Higher Power to take the steps necessary to change the way you think, feel and behave towards yourself when it comes to your accepting of your body image as OK just the way it is. As you continue to feel at peace with the visualization you then are ready for the work of this CHILD work which is to do either "Mirror Work" or "Video Work." As you are feeling calmer, either stand in front of a full length mirror or tape yourself on a video and watch yourself on the TV monitor as you progress with the self-image CHILD work.  

Once you are situated in front of the mirror or video camera, you are ready to proceed with the next step of the self-image CHILD work which is to HEAL. You begin to work on healing your inner spirit by telling yourself messages of hope and self-forgiveness about your body image. In the healing you do the next step which is to INFORM yourself of new messages about your body and how you will change the way you deal with your body image in the future. As you proceed in the informing step you will find yourself proceeding to the next step which is to LOVE yourself more and accept your body just the way it is. Lastly you will proceed with the final step which is to DIRECT your inner spirit and Higher Power to assist you to continue your efforts to let go of the negative thinking and feeling you have about your body and to be more open to accept your body in a loving and accepting way.  

To help facilitate your CHILD work you will need to develop a script which will let you address the five causes of your negative body image. You will need to address: 1. letting go of the  conditional acceptance of your body based on external looks, shape and size; 2. letting go of the shame and guilt you have for how your body looks and grow in self-forgiveness which allows you to proceed in life with no remorse or guilt over your mistakes and failures concerning your body; 3. letting go of the perfectionism which never allows you to accept your body as "good enough" when you have worked on losing weight and re-shaping your body in the past; 4. letting go of the need for your body to be invisible from others due to your shame over your body not being good enough to be seen and 5. redesigning how you value yourself so that your self-worth is no longer dependent on how your body looks but rather your worth is defined in "cavepeople" terms of how well you are doing in taking care of your health, happiness and energy.  

What follows is a sample script for Body image CHILD work. You can take bits or pieces of this or develop a completely different one for yourself. You will need to do this CHILD work as much as you can until you have overcome your poor  body image.

 

Scripts for:  BODY IMAGE CHILD WORK

(When doing this script, talk to yourself using "you.")

 

  • Unconditional Acceptance Theme:

You are OK just the way you are.

You are acceptable just the way you look.

Your body is acceptable just the way it is.

Your head, face, hair, neck, ears, nose, mouth, eyes, forehead, chin are OK as they are.

Your neck, shoulders, upper arms, lower arms, hands are OK just the way they are.

Your chest, breasts, tummy and back are OK just the way they are.

Your hips, gut, genitle area, and buttocks are OK just the way they are.

Your thighs, lower legs, feet are OK just the way they are.

Every part of your body is acceptable and OK to me.

Your body's shape, size and looks are OK just the way they are.

You may lose weight, shrink in size and shape due to the Tools for Balanced Lifestyle Program being fully implemented in your life, but you are acceptable to me right now and will always be acceptable to me no matter what happens as you implement the program.

Your health, happiness, and energy level will improve as you implement the program and I accept that your body size, shape or looks might not change substantially.

Your health, happiness and energy are more important to me than your body looks.

 

  • Letting Go of Shame and Guilt and Self-forgiveness theme:

There is no reason for you to feel guilt or shame for how your body looks today.

I forgive you for your past mistakes and failures in your effort to control your weight and change your body looks.

I see no reason why you should ever feel ashamed when you present your body in public.

I recognize that you are a "whole person" with a mind, competencies, intelligence, creativity and abilities which often go unnoticed due to your obsession with how you look. You are a wonderful person and there is nothing you need to feel ashamed or guilt over when it comes to your body size, shape or looks.

I forgive you for all the times in the past you bugged me for how I looked and how I should be embarrassed for what had become of my body.

I will no longer hold you to a standard of behaviors which require you to check yourself carefully so as not to be ashamed or guilty over what you have or have not done to make your body look "good enough."

I hope you will always proudly hold your head up high and present yourself openly to others with no self-consciousness over how your body looks to them.  

 

  • Letting Go of Perfectionism Theme:

You do not need to worry yourself anymore about your body not being "Good Enough."

You do not need to worry about doing enough to improve the way your body looks.

You do not need to worry about failing to do the right thing to improve how others view and accept you, since I love you just the way you are.

You will never have to worry in the future about me coming down hard on you for not having enough "will power" or "self-control" to improve the way you eat and dress so that your body will look perfect to others.

You will no longer be expected to reach the unrealistic expectations and goals I have set for you in the past about how much weight you should be or what your body's shape or size should be in order for it to be approved by me.

You will no longer need to worry about if your efforts and time spent in self-improvement will make your body finally acceptable and "good enough" to me since your body is acceptable and "good enough" for me right now.  

 

  • Overcoming Invisibility Theme:

You are acceptable and deserving of my approval just the way you are and I will assist you to make yourself open and visible to everyone in your life and not keep you hidden, unseen and quiet in the future.

You no longer need to camouflage your body so that it will not be seen. I will help you make your body be seen just the way it is.

You are worth being seen and heard. You are a valuable person and too valuable to be hidden and invisible to others.

You are going to overcome your sense of isolation and abandonment which come from your being invisible and not letting your needs and wants be known to others.

Your body is OK just the way it is and I will from now on let it be seen by others because you deserve to be seen.

Your body is the recipient of the 3 Increases of health, happiness and energy from this program and as such it needs to be seen by others since it radiates a new vitality which it has lacked for too long.

Your body is a gift from your Higher Power and since your High Power accepts and loves you, who I am to go against such wisdom. I will keep you, a precious gift of my Higher Power, visible so that the whole world can enjoy the "gift" that you are.  

 

  • Intrinsic Self-worth Growth Theme:

Your worth as a human being is not based on how your body looks. Your worth as a human being is based on the fact that you are alive and a part of the human race.

You are worthwhile to me because you are you, who is a unique and special human being.

You are a valuable person because you are a sum total of what make you alive: your thoughts, feelings, creativity, ingenuity, energy, personality, intelligence, competencies and abilities.

You no longer need to minimize your self-worth based on your body appearances since how you look has nothing to do with your worth to me.

I love you just the way you are and the way you look.

You are deserving of my acceptance, love and valuing.  

Use this or your modified Body Image CHILD script until you are able to say: "I accept my body just the way it is and I accept every part of my body."  

 

Related Tools for Coping Readings:

1.  Self-Esteem Seekers Anonymous: The SEA's Program Manual  

2. Growing Down: Tools for Healing the Inner Child  

3. Tools for Personal Growth

 

To assist you to get to the next section of Chapter 5: A New Look at Body Image in Tools for a Balanced Lifestyle, click on the topic below you want next:

 

 

 

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