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 Tools for a
Balanced Lifestyle
A Program of Recovery from Weight Related Problems
Going for the 3 increases: Increase of Health; Increase of Happiness and
Increase of Energy
Chapter
5: A New Look at Body Image
I. An
ALERT on Body Image Issues
The
cavepeople used to draw images and pictures of themselves on the walls of their
caves to keep a running narrative history of their lives. The cavepeople did not
seem to be bothered by body image problems since they drew their bodies just as
they were. Cavepeople were not irrational about body size since they were happy
to have bodies which were alive and surviving the hardness of their lives. They
were accepting of their bodies in an unconditional way by saying: "My body
is fine and acceptable as long as it keeps me alive and well." How well do
you compare with the cavepeople when it comes to your body image? Answer the
following questions: Do you have a problem in being able to unconditionally
accept your body as OK as long as it is alive and well? Are you concerned about
looking at images of yourself? Do you have a problem accepting your body just
the way it is? Do you have a problem with your body being seen in public? Are
you bothered about being seen or looked at when you are trying on clothes in a
clothing store? Do you have a problem looking at your naked body in the mirror?
Do you hate having your picture or a home video taken of you?
Do you hate seeing your body's image in a shadow? Do you avoid looking
into large street side windows to avoid seeing your body's reflection? Do you
avoid being captured on the camera in a store window so that you do not see your
body on the TV monitor? Do you hate looking at pictures or home videos of you?
If the answer is yes to all or most of these questions, then most probably you
have poor body image and are in need of extensive work to get more rational,
realistic, healthy and reality based concerning your body image.
Poor
body image comes from a variety of irrational, unrealistic and unhealthy causes.
1. It can be based on the conditional acceptance of your body only if it meets
certain criteria for such acceptance or approval. 2. Poor body image can be
based in denial over what your body really looks like and a refusal to see your
body the way it is rather than how you fantasize it to be. 3. It can also come
from self-rejection and self-non-acceptance. This is the refusal of
self-acceptance of yourself as a good person. This refusal is because your body
does not meet the "standard" which you believe it has to reach. This
body standard must be reached before you can believe that you are a "good
enough" person to be accepted by yourself. 4. Poor body image can come from
self-hatred over what your body has become. 5. It can come from the fear of your
body being seen by others the way it is rather than how you would like it to be.
6. It can come from the need to be invisible and not seen by others and yet it
is seen by others and commented on by them. 7. Poor body image can come from the
guilt over the fact that: "I have done this to my body." 8. It can
come from perfectionism over the fact that: "My body is not good enough the
way it is." When you are dealing with your poor body image you need to
first ALERT yourself so as to get rational about your body so you can relax the
anxiety, stress or panic you experience every time you are about to see an image
of your body in a mirror, picture, home video, store window, security monitor or
your shadow.
First
you need to ASSESS what is causing you the stress, anxiety or panic when
ever you are in public or looking at an image of yourself. The tension you are
experiencing is most probably due to seeing or the fear of seeing an image or
reflection of your body which you do not want to see and simultaneously do not
want others to see. This is a sign of poor body image which is a factor which
can de-rail or sabotage your efforts at maintaining your new and emerging
balanced lifestyle. You need to go on and identify what unhealthy thinking leads
to the distress you experience over your body image.
The
second step is to LESSEN the impact of your negative body image by
identifying the irrational thinking which underlies this concern. The third step
is to EASE out of the stress by identifying new healthier
self-affirmations which help you to become more rational, realistic and reality
based about your body image. What follows are some irrational messages you might
be giving yourself which lead to the panic, stress and anxiety of poor body
image. Under each irrational and unhealthy message is a rational and healthier
self-affirmation counterpart:
Healthy:
My body size is what it is.
Healthy:
I look in that picture just the way I look in real life.
Healthy:
I did this to myself and I accept this fact for what it is.
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Unhealthy:
Everyone else in the picture looks better than me.
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Healthy:
Everyone in the picture, including me, looks like themselves and that is OK.
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Unhealthy:
My body tells me I need to go on a diet.
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Healthy:
My body tells me I need to implement a balanced lifestyle so that I can gain the
3 Increases of Health, Happiness and Energy.
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Unhealthy:
Although I have been practicing the Balanced Lifestyle model for six months my
body still looks awful to me.
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Healthy:
The Balanced Lifestyle model promises the 3 Increases of Health, Happiness and
Energy and does not promise a thinner body.
The
aim of the LESSEN and EASE steps is to let go of: conditional self-acceptance,
denial and fantasy thinking, self-rejection and self-non-acceptance, self-hatred
and self-loathing, fear of being seen by others, the need to be invisible to
others, the need for perfectionism for your body to be "just right,"
and guilt for what your body has become. Once you have identified new healthier
self-affirmations you then go on to the next step.
The
fourth ALERT step is to RELAX the stress of poor body image by breathing
in the new messages of affirmation and breathing out the stale air of the
irrational and unhealthy old messages about your body. As you relax try to
visualize yourself accepting your body image as you look at mirrors, pictures
and home videos of yourself, video security monitors, store window reflections
and your shadow. Keep visualizing your successful self-acceptance of your body
image so that in reality the next time you see your image reflected, you will
accept it unconditionally with no stress, anxiety or panic.
The
fifth ALERT step is to TAKE ACTION and to allow yourself to see your
body's image in a variety of situations and practice the unconditional
self-acceptance model. To make this action more long lasting do the following
exercise: Draw a picture of yourself. Then label every body part you do not
like. Give a reason why you do not like it. Then work at developing a rational
and healthy reason why it is OK and deserving of your acceptance. Write 5
affirmations of acceptance for the identified body part. Do this for every part
of your body, you have not been able to accept at this point in your life. Keep
working on this exercise until you can say:
"I accept every part of my body unconditionally." To take
further action try this: The next time someone is taking pictures or home videos
ask him or her to take your picture and to give you a copy of the picture or
video when it is ready. This will provide for you an opportunity to see if you
have overcome your anxiety, panic or stress whenever you think your body will be
seen by others. It will also test if you are ready to look at images of your
body the way it is rather than how you would like it to look.
Related
Tools
for Coping Readings:
1.
Self -Esteem Seekers Anonymous, The SEA's Program Manual
2.
Tools for Personal Growth
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to the next section of Chapter 5: A New Look at Body Image in Tools for a
Balanced Lifestyle, click on the topic below you want next:
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