 Tools for a
Balanced Lifestyle
A Program of Recovery from Weight Related Problems
Going for the 3 increases: Increase of Health; Increase of Happiness and
Increase of Energy
Chapter 1: Getting Started
on Your Balanced Lifestyle
IV.
Healing Your Inner Child as a Motivational Tool
As you work at instituting a
Balanced Lifestyle in your life, you need to heal your inner spirit also know
metaphorically as your "Inner Child" or "Child Within." The
concept of Inner Child healing is presented in Growing Down: Tools for
Healing the Inner Child.
The inability to love yourself unconditionally and the overriding sense of shame
and guilt you have over your body size and weight are signs of the need to do
CHILD work. The CHILD System outlined in Self-Esteem Seekers Anonymous addresses overcoming your need to be
invisible so that others will not notice your body's size, shape, appearance or
weight. The use of CHILD work helps you to get in touch with feelings which you
have stuffed down for too long. It helps you to grow in self-forgiveness and
acceptance of yourself as a human being subject to mistakes and failures. CHILD
work involves you actively in the process of self-affirmations using the mirror
as a way to communicate with yourself to grow in self-acceptance, self-approval
and self-love. This effort teaches you to re-parent yourself so that you
can give yourself healthy guidance needed as you begin the effort to change your
life and lifestyle. CHILD work encourages you to dump the negative garbage from
your past while filling your heart with new messages of hope, courage, strength,
optimism and possibilities. By utilizing CHILD work appropriately, you will grow
in your ability to play and have fun so that you can enjoy life one day at a
time and one moment at a time. By
having fun and learning to play you will be able to accept life as it is rather
than what you want it to be. CHILD helps you to grow in inner peace while
accepting the reality and presence of your Higher Power in your life.
You will have a difficult
time in changing your relationship with food and exercise if you are not willing
to open yourself up to loving yourself by healing your inner spirit. You will
not be able to accept you body for what it is unless you open yourself up to
love yourself with no prescribed standard of behaviors or looks necessary to be
eligible for such love. The CHILD System requires you to Calm yourself
down when you are feeling alone, forgotten, abandoned, depressed, hopeless, ill
at ease or ready to give up on yourself as you try to change your lifestyle.
Once calmed down, you begin to Heal your inner spirit by getting in touch
with your Child Within you who needs to be re-parented, loved and
accepted. At the same time you are asked to open yourself up to the presence of
the Higher Power in you. The image is that the adult you, your inner child and
your Higher Power are a team working together to assist you to grow in self-love
and deservedness so that you will have the strength and ability to sustain the
efforts needed to change your lifestyle. As you are visualizing the presence of
your inner spirit, your adult self and your Higher Power in a meeting in your
life, you are asked to Inform yourself and inner child of the many
positive attributes, gifts, skills, knowledge and abilities which you possess
that will make it possible for you to be successful in your effort to change
your lifestyle. As you continue to inform yourself of the positives you possess,
the goal is for you to grow in Love of self unconditionally for being you
rather than for what you do. As you grow in self-love you will be able to face
with more realism and understanding any failures, disappointments, setbacks or
relapse you experience in your efforts to gain a balance in your lifestyle. As
you feel yourself growing in self-love you will be able to Direct your
inner spirit to be a beacon and connection with your Higher Power so that you
will never need to feel alone, abandoned or forgotten as you put energy and time
into making changes in your lifestyle.
What follows is a CHILD
System visualization to assist you as you initiate the Balance Lifestyle Program
in your life. Record this script on an audio tape in your own voice so you can
use it on a regular basis to help motivate you. This visualization is based on
the concept of The Precious
Present by Spencer Johnson (Doubleday and Company Inc., New York, 1984). It
would be helpful to read this story about the precious present as you work on
changing your lifestyle. Use this visualization at least 5 times a week during
your initial year of getting your lifestyle into a healthier balance.
Balanced Lifestyle CHILD Visualization
I sit down and find myself
resting, breathing in and out. I breath in the fresh air of change and breath
out the old stale air of stagnation and stuckness. I calm myself down and find
myself in a safe, comfortable place. (This place can be your favorite space be
it near the ocean, on the bank of a babbling brook, in the forest, on a
mountain, in front of a fireplace, etc.)
As I settle down into my
special place, I see a young child approaching me. As the child comes closer I
recognize that this is my inner spirit, my child within, my inner child. I open
my arms and welcome the child to come close to me. As I embrace the child close
to me, I feel an intense warmth and serenity surround me. I recognize that this
is the presence of my Higher Power who is always with me and my inner child
whenever I call upon them to be present for me.
As I sit in this my special
place I begin to tell my inner child and Higher Power, that I have been feeling
alone, abandoned and isolated as I begin to make the efforts to change the way I
relate to food, exercise and personal growth. As I begin to make the efforts to
change my lifestyle and get a balance into my life, I feel that I will never
have the time needed to effect this change. I also do not believe that I will
ever be able to accomplish all that is necessary to effect this change in my
life. I share with my inner child
and Higher Power my self doubts and concerns about my ability to follow through
on this worthwhile goal. I fear that I will not be able to accomplish all that I
want to accomplish. I have experienced failure and lack of success in past
efforts at losing weight and increasing my exercise. I am afraid that this
effort at gaining a Balanced Lifestyle will be a failure as well. This makes me
feel so alone and worthless. I do not believe that I have what it takes to make
such a major change in my life. I feel guilt and shame about my body's size,
appearance and weight. I do not believe that I have the right amount of
motivation and energy to do what I need to do to change. I am so worried that
others will make fun of me if I am not successful in this effort, like I was in
my other past failed attempts. I continue to open up my heart in order to
let my inner spirit and Higher Power know that I am scared to pursue this
Balanced Lifestyle Program for fear of being a failure, making mistakes or
having setbacks or relapse in it. I sit here in my safe place knowing that I am
being listened to by two open and unconditionally accepting beings who are my
friends. Together we make a team to assist me to grow and change in this effort
of mine at lifestyle balancing.
I hear a voice, from within
me, which is my Higher Power, saying: "Trust
yourself, you have what it takes to be successful in your efforts to change. You
have Me and your inner child to comfort you in your times of sorrow and shame
and to lift you up when your are down on yourself or lost in self-pity."
I hear my inner spirit tell me: "You are all you need to be
successful in your efforts to change your lifestyle. You do not need the
approval or recognition of others as you change
and grow. All you need is to be more self-accepting and self-loving to motivate
yourself to be successful in this Balanced Lifestyle Program." I know that
my Higher Power and Inner Child are here for me as I contemplate the effort
needed to change and grow.
As I recognize the strength
and comfort of the presence of my inner child and Higher Power, I recognize that
I am a special gift to myself which I take for granted and do not spend enough
time focusing on. I know that I need to grow in self-forgiveness and let go of
the shame and guilt I have over my body and my life to this point. I know that I
need to let go of the need to be invisible to others out of the shame for what
my body and I have become. I need to let go of self-pity and self-flagellation
for what has gone wrong in the past and take the risk to believe that I can
become a new person through balancing my lifestyle. If I recognize that I am a
special present to myself, I might be better able to recognize that I have what
it takes to persevere and be successful in pursuing a Balanced Lifestyle in my
life. I realize that with their help, my inner child and Higher Power will help
me accept that the following gifts are there for me to use as I pursue my
change:
I accept and love my brain,
which is filled with the intelligence to help me grow in understanding and
knowledge of what it will take to change my lifestyle.
I accept and love my eyes as
tools to help me see the beauty in my body and myself so that through full
self-acceptance I will be able to grow in self-love and commitment to change my
life.
I accept and love my ears as
the vehicles through which I will hear the hopeful messages of the Balanced
Lifestyle Program so that I can open myself to their meaning in my life.
I accept and love my nose as
the sense which helps me scope out for the truth in things, so that I do not
accept blindly messages about what is necessary for me so that I can smell a lie
or falsity when it pops up.
I accept and love my mouth
as a major tool in balancing my lifestyle, so that it will be in better control
of what enters my body so that what is healthy enters and what is unhealthy is
refused. My mouth is also the vehicle by which I will talk to others in the
support system in the Balanced Lifestyle Program so that when I need support I
can reach out for it.
I accept and love my face
for it is the real me that I present to the world. On my face others will see
that I am growing daily in self-love and self-confidence as I feel more
self-worth and self-deservedness from my efforts to grow and change in the ways
I think, feel and act in my life. What was once called "such a pretty
face" is really a beautiful mirror of my inner spirit and soul and as I
grow in self-love and improved relationship with you my inner child and Higher
Power I will be beaming more and reflecting lightness to others in my life.
I accept and love my head
because it is the home of most of the senses I need to be successful in my new
effort to balance my lifestyle. It is also home to my brain which is the seat of
the thoughts and ideas which I will change as I pursue this lifestyle change.
I accept and love my neck
because it is the conduit of intelligence and emotions between my head and
heart.
I accept and love my
shoulders because they have borne a lot of grief from me due to my old self-pity
and embarrassment. I will no longer stoop my shoulders. I will hold them up
because I am proud of myself and my shoulders are going to help me show the
world the change I am making in myself.
I accept and love my arms
because they help me reach out to touch and hug others. I will use my arms to
hug myself on a daily basis as an affirmation that I deserve to be loved and
cared for because I am special, loveable and worth being loved.
I accept and love my hands
because they are tools to help me balance my lifestyle because they will not
touch or hold or bring to me anything which is not healthy for me. They are the
tools to touch and feel the world and they will assist me to learn to play and
have more fun in my life.
I accept and love my trunk
and chest area. This is the home of my important internal organs, my heart,
lungs, kidneys, liver, pancreas etc. This is a special place because it is the
home of my "gut feelings" which I am opening up to more and more as I
change my lifestyle. These organs are the site of my instincts and intuitions
which need to be given more attention to as I change and grow. This place in my
body is special because it is the home of my feelings which need to be changed
to become more realistic, rational and real so that I can grow and gain an
improved balanced lifestyle.
I accept and love my hips
and pelvic area. This is the area which controls my ability to bend and twist. I
need to learn to be more flexible and spontaneous and this region of my body
will assist me to do so as I increase my exercise and activity level.
I accept and love my legs
because they are tools to help me gain a balanced lifestyle because they will
transport me to places where I can exercise and do healthy activities of play
and fun for myself. My legs bear the weight of my body and as such play a major
role in my life. For this reason I will be more gentle and loving to them in the
future in appreciation for what they have already done for me in the past.
I accept and love my feet
because they will help me walk into places which are healthy for me and to avoid
walking into places which are unhealthy for me. My feet will help me to get to
places of fun, relaxation and play so that my life will have greater balance and
harmony.
I accept and love my entire
body because it is my Higher Power's special gift to me and because it is the
home of my inner spirit and of me. I find my body is a beautiful, functional
home for me which will assist me to gain the balanced lifestyle which I am
seeking at this time in my life. I know that my
body comes from my Higher Power
and like they say: "God doesn't make junk."
My inner child and Higher
Power thanks for visiting with me today as I open myself to the precious present
which is me. My body is a wonderful gift and I accept it unconditionally and
fully. I promise you my inner child and Higher Power that I will take care of my
body in special ways. I promise that I will stand in front of a mirror each day
and affirm myself and my body as wondrous gifts which need special tender loving
care as I get my lifestyle into an improved balance.
It is now time to leave my
special place. As I begin to prepare myself to return to my everyday life I
release the grasp of my inner child and at the same time feel the warmth of my
Higher Power release its grasp. As I watch my inner child walk away from this
safe place I begin to count backwards from five:
Five: I promise to return to
this special place at least five times a week during this first year of my
Balanced Lifestyle efforts.
Four: I promise you my inner
child that I will take better care of you so that you do not need to feel alone,
abandoned or isolated.
Three: I promise you my
Higher Power that I will spend more time in your presence to gain the sense of
support and warmth you offer me.
Two: I promise you my body
that I will be nicer to you. I think you are beautiful and I will tell you that
daily in my mirror work with you.
One: As I get used to the
room and the chair on which I am sitting I promise myself that I will work to
the best of my human ability to do what I need to do in order to continue my
efforts at putting my lifestyle into balance.
Related Tools for Coping
Readings
1. Self-Esteem Seekers Anonymous: The SEA's Program
Manual
2. Tools for Personal Growth
3. Growing Down: Tools for Healing the Inner Child
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Chapter 1
Chapter 1: Getting Started on
Your Balanced Lifestyle
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