The SEA's Program
SEA's 12 Step Guide
Step 7
Content:
Step 7: We humbly asked our Higher Power to
give us the strength to let go of our shortcomings.
Step
7 is the step of letting go of all those things which you cannot change, over
which you have no control and are powerless. Letting go involves all those
behaviors listed in the following poem whose author is anonymous.
-
Letting
Go
-
To
``let go'' does not mean to stop caring.
-
It
means I can't do it for someone else.
-
To
``let go'' is not to cut myself off.
-
It's
the realization I can't control another.
-
To
``let go'' is not to enable,
-
but
to allow learning from natural consequences.
-
To
``let go'' is to admit powerlessness
-
which
means the outcome is not in my hands.
-
To
``let go'' is not to try to change or blame another.
-
It's
to make the most of myself.
-
To
``let go'' is not to care for, but to care about.
-
To
``let go'' is not to fix, but to be supportive.
-
To
``let go'' is not to judge,
-
but
to allow another to be a human being.
-
To
``let go'' is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
-
but
to allow others to affect their destinies.
-
To
``let go'' is not to be protective.
-
It's
to permit another to face reality.
-
To
``let go'' is not to deny, but to accept.
-
To
``let go'' is not to nag, scold, or argue,
-
but
instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
-
To
``let go'' is not to criticize and regulate anybody,
-
but
to try to become what I dream I can be.
-
To
``let go'' is to not regret the past,
-
but
to grow and live for the future.
-
To
``let go'' is to fear less and LOVE MYSELF MORE.
Step
7 requires that you let go of the need to control others, events, and
circumstances. In the past you attempted to maintain your sanity in the midst of
severe emotional distress in your: dysfunctional family of origin; co-dependent relationships;
failures, and disastrous relationships. Step 7 encourages you to believe that
you gain sanity by letting go of the "uncontrollables and unchangeables''
to your Higher Power. In Tools for
Handling Control Issues Letting
Go of the Uncontrollable and Unchangeables will help you take this step.
Before
you are ready to "let go,'' you must first identify all of the
uncontrollables in your life which you need to "let go.'' To do this, give
examples under each category of people, circumstances, situations, and personal
shortcomings which you need to let go.
I
need to let go of the following:
-
People
-
Circumstances
-
Situations
-
Personal
Shortcomings
Now
answer these questions as you proceed with Step 7.
1.
How much strength do you need in order to
"let go'' of the uncontrollable and unchangeable things in your life?
2.
How much comfort does it give you to visualize
that your Higher Power is big enough with enough strength and power to handle
everything which you ``let go?''
3.
After reviewing Tools for Handling
Loss, Letting Go, give examples how
in your Step 7 letting go process you are letting go of:
-
Guilt
-
Grief
-
Dependency
on others
-
Overresponsibility
-
Resistance
to change
-
Fear
-
Anger
-
Denial
-
A
loved one's death
4.
Give examples of how these following issues are obstacles in your letting go
process:
-
Irrational
beliefs
-
Fear
of unknown
-
Avoidance
of feeling guilty
-
A
sense of overresponsibility
-
Overdependence
on others
-
Unwillingness
to express true emotions
-
Fear
of being disloyal or unfaithful
-
A
lack of belief in self
-
A
lack of belief in your Higher Power
-
Others'
reaction and response to your healthy behaviors
5.
How will your life be different by taking Step 7 and "letting go'' of
each uncontrollable as it comes up in your life from now on?
6.
Where does the strength come from in this Step 7 process of letting go of
shortcomings to your Higher Power?
7.
What role does your Higher Power play in those
things you have "let go'' of?
8.
What support from your counselor, Buddies at
SEA, and others do you need in order to keep on track in this letting go
process?
9.
What is at risk when you "let go'' of
someone, something, a situation, circumstance or personal shortcoming which
you cannot change or control?
Restate Step 7 in your own words
and explain how it helps you to regain your sanity and promote your recovery
from low self-esteem.
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