 The SEA's
Tools for a Recovery Lifestyle
Handling Anti- Recovery Thinking
Content:
Irrational thinking which is anti-recovery
Irrational
thinking that is anti-recovery includes:
-
Habitual
ways of thinking about life that keep you locked in your compulsive behavior
and/or unhealthy ways of reacting.
-
Attitudes,
beliefs, practices, moods, and thoughts founded not so much in reality as it
is but rather in reality as you think it should or ought to be.
-
Excuses,
rationalizations, lies, negative self-talk, that you give to show that you
are unable to achieve a recovery lifestyle.
-
Negative
reactions, doubts, mistrust, and suspicions used by you to avoid change.
-
The
belief that others should make the changes necessary to eliminate the
unwanted condition in your life.
-
The
hope that there is some magic pill, potion, or prescription to make the
problem behavior go away.
-
The
need for instant gratification.
-
Disbelief
that it will take lifelong vigilance and external support to keep lifestyle
and recovery changes in place.
-
The
belief that it should be easier to gain health and mastery over compulsive
behaviors than it really is.
-
The
reluctance to accept a program of recovery or change in lifestyle that puts
all of the burden on the person desiring the change in behavior.
-
The
belief that your current lifestyle, which includes compulsive or unhealthy
behavior such as obesity, alcohol abuse, chemical abuse, compulsive
gambling, shopping, sex, etc. need not be changed; you are OK just the way
you are.
-
Prejudice
or bias against professionals and the advice they offer; professionals are
just out for themselves and do not have the welfare of their patients or
clients at heart.
Negative consequences of this anti-recovery thinking
Allowing
anti-recovery thinking to go unchecked can result in:
-
Sabotaging
efforts to make an honest change.
-
Losing
your motivation to continue in your behavioral change.
-
Wishing
you had not chosen to initiate your program of change.
-
Disillusionment,
a readiness to jump at reasons to legitimize your dropping out of a program
of change and recovery.
-
Boredom
with the slow pace of change and recovery, a desire to get out of the change
process.
-
Discouragement
in the small increments of change resulting from such great exertions of
energy.
-
Backsliding
on the original desire and commitment to change; believing that you were OK,
even nicer, before you began to make the changes.
-
Your
over-reacting to attention and compliments for the changes you have made in
your life. This is scary since you don't know how to handle all this new
attention.
-
Your
saying on the surface, in front of others, that you are committed to a
change, when in reality you are holding back, unconvinced of the need for
change or for the amount of effort required to make the change.
-
Recidivism,
that is, your achieving the goal of a behavior change (lose weight, stop
smoking, stop drinking) but not achieving a lifestyle change, eventually
reverting to your old habits and problem behavior patterns.
Use
the following symptoms checklist to determine if you are being affected by anti-recovery
irrational thinking. Place an ``X'' in front of the symptoms you are currently
experiencing.
___
A. Disillusionment with the program
of recovery
___
B. Fear that complete change will
never come
___
C. Anger at the slowness of change
___
D. Discouragement at the size of
change (amount of weight loss, rate of weight loss, number of cigarettes, etc.)
___
E. Disbelief that to sustain
the changed behavior requires a change in lifestyle
___
F. Use of excessive
rationalization as to why it is impossible for you to implement the full
recovery program at this point in your life
___
G. Claims that you have no
time to work on the necessary changes
___
H. Feeling as if you are
facing a life of deprivation rather than feeling good about how full your life
will be once you have implemented the recovery lifestyle system
___
I. Feeling that
this takes too much effort, time, and money for the results
___
J. Lacking in
motivation to continue in your program of change
___
K. Wanting to abandon
your time-management schedule because it feels too demanding and intrusive
___
L. Wishing you had
never started this program of change
___
M. Faultfinding with the
professional staff, members, and the program with which you are currently
involved
___
N. Looking for
something wrong with the program, members, or staff to justify your quitting
___
O. Feeling bored
or overwhelmed with the efforts needed to make the change in your life
___
P. Not liking the
"new'' you; feeling that the "old'' you wasn't so bad, was easier to
live with, was happier, was funnier, etc.
___
Q. Fearful of
others' newly found interest in you when before they ignored, shunned, or barely
tolerated you
___
R. Not
really convinced of a need for change in your life
___
S. Just
wanting to achieve an end goal of change (lose weight, stop smoking, stop
drinking, etc.), not wanting to change your lifestyle for full recovery
___
T. Resentment
that lifestyle changes require so much restructuring of your time, social
support, and personal habits
Interpretation
of results:
If
you checked three or more of these symptoms, consider yourself greatly affected
by anti-recovery irrational thinking.
How to counter this anti-recovery thinking
In
order to keep on track in achieving a recovery lifestyle, you can counter your
anti-recovery irrational thinking by using the following rational statements.
A.
"Rome wasn't built in a day.'' It takes time for all great things to be
accomplished.
B.
There are always going to be down days, but keep on trying.
C.
It is sound advice to "take one day at a time,'' don't fret or
worry about achieving the total result overnight.
D.
Success builds on success. Every change no matter how small is a brick
in building a new, healthy self-esteem.
E.
It will take much effort to alter old habits and ensure that they don't
crop back up.
F.
You deserve the attention and effort you are giving yourself.
If you don't do this for yourself, who will do it for you? Only you
have control over your life and motivation to change. Change your lifestyle
only for yourself and not for the sake of someone else.
G.
It takes time to make the changes necessary and you are deserving of
this time so give it to yourself.
H.
The initial period of deprivation to achieve an end goal (i.e., loss of
weight, stop smoking, stop drinking, etc.) is filled with pain and sacrifice
but once the goal is attained a life of moderation, health and full self-esteem
is yours if you follow the balanced lifestyle recovery model.
I. No matter how small the current results are, the changes
occurring are positive steps in your achieving full wellness. You are a good
person deserving of your hard work and effort on your behalf to achieve the
positive end results no matter how long they take to achieve.
J.
It will always take work, effort and energy to sustain a recovery
lifestyle and healthy self-esteem and you are worth the effort so hang in
there!
K.
A time management system isn't worth anything unless it is a blueprint
by which you can gain order, routine and habits of change in your life.
L.
Although at times the road to recovery and full healthy self-esteem
appears to be a long and narrow one, remember you have already come a long
way. Remember to positively reinforce yourself for the changes you have
already made in your life. Let your past success motivate you to continue on
with your change efforts.
M.
The professionals you are working with are humans and as such have failings
and foibles too, just like you. They are not Gods or Super Heroes who never
make mistakes. Be assertive and stand up for your rights if you feel your
rights are being infringed upon by the staff working with you.
N.
There will always be some excuse in a program or with the professional staff
you can use to justify quitting a program. Remember that you are in the
program only for yourself so if you quit the program you are hurting only
yourself. The program and staff will survive your leaving.
O.
Boredom is nothing more than a sign of the lessening of your motivation to
change and to sustain these changes in your life. Use boredom as a barometer
of the need to give yourself a booster shot of positive reinforcement for
coming as far as you have come in your program of change.
P.
The "New You'' is the real you. The old you was a series of masks
you once hid behind. Give your "New You'' some time to get an even
footing so as to become more stabilized and secure before you discard it in
favor of the old, more comfortable, familiar you.
Q.
It is normal for people to be more attracted to thin, non-alcoholic,
non-smoker, non-gambler, non-compulsive individuals. You are going to find
people giving you more attention. Turn this attention into a positive
reinforcement of the changes you have made in your life.
R.
Doubting the need for change in your life is a sign that you are human
and it is natural to second guess your decision to alter your lifestyle. This
is a time when you need your social support to re-affirm you in your decision
to change by pointing out all of the good things you have accomplished so far
in the changes you have already made.
S.
There is no easy answer to sustaining radical changes in your life
(i.e., loss of weight, stop smoking, stop drinking, stopped depression, etc.)
unless you implement a change in your lifestyle to change the old habitual
behaviors which contributed to your old problems (i.e., overweight,
alcoholism, compulsive behaviors, etc.). This lifestyle change requires time
to acquire a new, healthy, habitual way of living. In fact, it is a form of
compulsion substitution that is a substitution of health-oriented compulsions
for unproductive, problematic compulsions.
T.
If a lifestyle change is to become permanent, it requires an
overhauling of one's way of interacting, acting and reacting. This requires
time management, social support and replacement of old personal habits for
new, more healthy habits.
NOTE:
For further information on rational thinking, look at the Handling
Irrational Beliefs in Tools for
Personal Growth
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