 The SEA's
Tools for a Recovery Lifestyle
Problem Solving in Recovery
Content:
Barriers to productive problem solving in recovery
Barriers
to productive problem solving include:
-
A
"Yes, but'' attitude.
-
Intellectual
defensiveness; closed to new ideas.
-
The
inability to be objective.
-
A
fear of being "wrong.''
-
The
inability to be creative or imaginative in developing alternative solutions.
-
Emotional
"stuckness'' — being so chronically immersed in problems that no
feelings or emotions can be elicited.
-
Believing
that emotions and feelings about a problem are wrong'' and should not be
included when looking for solutions.
-
Resentment
about having to solve the problem; wanting to blame others for causing the
problem; having no desire to own the problem yourself.
-
Mental
and/or physical fatigue due to finding no fruitful solutions.
-
Feeling
so stressed, anxious, or tense in the face of a problem that your "systems''
shut down.
-
Getting
so angry about the problem that all energy and attention is drawn to the
anger rather than to the problem.
-
Feeling
sorry for yourself and letting the "self-pity'' overwhelm and obstruct
all thinking on the matter.
-
Getting
so depressed about the problem that a mental paralysis exists.
-
Denial
that the problem exists.
-
Bargaining
in dealing with the problem, i.e., agreeing to perform certain steps only as
long as the solution to the problem results from taking such steps.
Common problems which occur in recovery
Review
the following list. Which of these are a problem you are having as you work on
your recovery.
Overconfidence:
after achieving 50% or more of the goal of recovery, you have become less
cautious, less observant, less meticulous and less attentive due to the level of
self-confidence you reached by receiving many compliments for what you have
achieved.
Weakened
Commitment: since it takes a long time to achieve your goals, you find
yourself weakening in your resolve. It takes too long, goes too slow, and
requires too much of you.
Boredom:
sacrificing, changing old patterns of behavior, and breaking old habits requires
a tedious, consistent, managed effort on your part. Living a changed life isn't
as adventurous, daring, immoderate, risky, or all-consuming as the old,
unhealthy life style. It can get boring.
Burnout:
it requires enormous energy to change; thus, if you are not pacing yourself you
can get exhausted or burned out by trying so hard to be "good.''
Overstressed:
constantly having to watch yourself because you are being bombarded with
temptations to return to old habits and constantly experiencing a great deal of
stress in maintaining self-control can result in a stressed-out situation.
Lack
of Trust: setbacks and slow results can surface after your exertion of a
great deal of energy to change which can result in loss of trust in your program
of recovery, such as this SEA's Program of Recovery, and lack of trust even in
the skill, knowledge, and intentions of the professionals with whom you are
working.
Relapse:
although your intentions are good, you continuously find yourself relapsing to
your old, unhealthy behavioral patterns, "falling off the wagon.''
Guilt:
because you have found yourself cheating, maybe not sticking to the plan of
recovery 100% of the time, you experience guilt because you have failed
yourself, your program, and your support system.
Perfectionism:
you are unwilling to tackle anything unless you can do it perfectly.
Imperfection in your efforts to recover alarms you. You find it difficult to
continue if you can't do it correctly 100% of the time.
Impatience:
you are very upset because it takes so much time to recover completely. You want
to be fully recovered now.
"Let's
Celebrate'': you may have achieved an intended short-term goal like
overcoming an addiction or a compulsive habit. You want to celebrate, forgetting
that the real goal is a full recovery with a lifestyle of moderation, time
management, emotional and stress control, balanced diet, health maintenance,
exercise, and a restructuring of life at work, home, and in the community.
Celebrating too soon can lead to setbacks and can be counterproductive to
healthy self-esteem.
Rationalizations:
to make this enormous change easier on yourself, you may have developed a system
of self deception, white lies, and excuses to lessen the impact of the health-oriented
program of recovery needed to obtain a new lifestyle. Examples: cutting 15
minutes of exercise won't hurt me; skipping a group meeting is nothing; just one
cigarette will be OK; it's only beer; I don't need to call a Buddy this week.
Roots of the problems in recovery
Underlying
the common problems facing people who desire to recover from low self-esteem are
the following root issues. Which of these root causes is true for you.
Addictive
Behavioral Pattern: many problem behaviors leading to unhealthy lifestyles
are addictive, such as overeating, smoking, drinking, drug abuse, gambling,
shopping, sex.
Lack
of Hope in the Future: you have lived in the clenches of a compulsive,
addictive behavioral pattern and may have tried and failed many times to change.
You lack hope in any new plan of healthy growth and positive change.
Prophecy
of Failure: believing you won't be successful in achieving your goals, you
sabotage your program of change at a subconscious level. This fulfills your
prophecy of ultimate failure.
Lack
of Understanding: when you are caught up in compulsive or addictive
behavior, you often lack full knowledge and understanding of what is involved in
change. You are unable to realize your potential.
Overresponsibility:
you may feel that you are totally responsible for everything that happens in
your life and often in the lives of others. You carry every burden on your
shoulders, leading to a martyr role: "poor me'' or "why does
everything bad always happen to me'' attitude.
Irrational
Thinking: unhealthy patterns of living and addictive behavior leads to an
irrational way of looking at life. These beliefs lead you to misrepresent
reality to yourself so that you act in self-defeating ways.
Lack
of Self-worth: if you have lived in a chronic state of compulsive, addictive
behavior, you might view yourself in such a poor light that you see no worth, no
redeeming features in yourself; you view yourself as unworthy of being a winner
in life.
Insecurity:
if you have lived a life of unhealthy habitual behavioral patterns, you might
feel like you will never be "good'' enough to change. You have no emotional
foothold to feel secure in any decision, let alone a decision to change and gain
a healthy, happy life in recovery.
Delusional
Thinking: you have been able to delude yourself into thinking that things in
your life were never bad. You use denial and minimize your problems. For
example, you may say: I wasn't that unhealthy or I wasn't that bad of a drunk,
or I wasn't that addicted. After all, I never tried crack, cocaine, or at least
I didn't get into the credit cards.
What is needed to overcome these problems
In
order to maintain your impetus toward a full, healthy recovery, you need to do
all of the following activities. Which of these activities are you open to using
to solve your problems in the recovery process.
Peer
Support Group: people attempting to recover need the support of those going
through the same process. This can be obtained in an ongoing peer support group.
Educational
Support: people who are in a process of change need some formal training.
This is available through workshops, seminars, and self-help reading including
the Tools for Coping Series on the www.coping.org
website..
Family
Support: people who are changing need their families and the significant
others in their lives to accept them and the changes they have made in their
lives.
Co-worker
Support: in order for people to carry their changed lifestyle into the
workplace, they need their co-workers' support in accepting them and the changes
they have made.
Crisis
Intervention: people involved in a change process need to know there are
people to whom they can turn during a crisis, especially true of your support
group member, Buddies at SEA and your counselor.
Social
Support: people need to develop a group of people they can call upon to
provide constructive criticism, give compliments and offer confrontation to keep
them both honest and on track in their efforts to change. Buddies at SEA can be
one source of support.
Spiritual
Renewal: people in this process of recovery must be able to "let go and
let the Higher Power in their life'' carry the load of the emotional strain
often involved in such an effort.
Professional
Assistance: people in a change process need the help, knowledge, support,
advice, and guidance of professional counselors whose job it is to help people
with their recovery program.
Re-assessment,
Re-setting of Goals, and Re-commitment: people in the process of change
continuously monitor their progress, re-evaluate their efforts, and refresh and
refocus their goals. This process is based on "take one day at a time'' and
"get back on the wagon again'' mottos.
Productive
Problem Solving: as each common problem arises on the road to recovery, you
need to solve them with your various support systems, i.e., family, friends, co-workers,
Buddies at SEA, support groups, professional counselors. Use productive problem
solving to come up with workable, alternative solutions.
Ten things needed for productive problem solving
1.
A clear, detailed description of the problem.
2.
A description of the limiting (or negative)
factors involved in the problem.
3.
A description of the constructive (or
positive) factors involved in the problem.
4.
A clear delineation of the "ownership''
of the problem. Whose problem is it? Does it belong to you, the other guy,
your boss, your spouse, your child, your parents, your teacher, or some
combination thereof?
5.
A clear description of the scope of the
problem. How big a problem is it? How long has it existed? How extensive is
it? How many people are affected? What else is affected by this problem?
6.
A clear description of what the
consequences would be if the problem remains unsolved. What is the possible
impact on your family, job, marriage, school performance, and life in your
community if this problem is never solved? What will happen to you if it isn't
solved? How will your efforts toward a change in lifestyle be affected?
7.
A full list of brainstormed alternative
solutions to the problem with each alternative analyzed as to its
consequences.
8.
A system of ranking the solutions, best to
worst, to aid the "final'' decision-making process. A rating system for
analyzing solutions can be developed, e.g., 100% chance of success, 75% chance
of success, 50% chance of success, and no chance of success.
9.
A clear description of yourself as a
problem solver regarding this problem. Are you procrastinating? Are you
avoiding the problem? Are you in denial? Are you shutting down or blocking
your creativity regarding this problem? Are you ignoring it, hoping it will go
away? Are you using magical thinking and/or fantasy in addressing the problem?
10.
A determination to follow through on the
selected solution, which involves full motivation to ``take the risk'' and
pursue the solution to its fullest extent.
Three tips for productive problem solving
Tip
1: Five-dimensional Approach to Solving a Problem
Look
at the problem from five different dimensions:
1.
What is the size or measurement of the problem?
2.
What would life be like if the problem was left un-addressed? Brought to a
solution?
3.
How are you functioning in handling the problem?
4.
What do your five senses tell you about the problem? What do you see, hear,
touch, smell and taste?
5.
What does reality look like from within the problem? How does it look from the
outside looking into the problem?
Tip
2. Rules for Brainstorming
When
brainstorming alternative solutions, follow these rules:
1.
All ideas should be expressed.
2.
No idea is too wild to be listed.
3.
Quantity is wanted; every idea that comes to mind should be expressed and
listed.
4.
Combining ideas to improve solutions is highly desirable.
5.
Criticism of any idea is absolutely forbidden.
Tip
3: Ranking Priorities from Alternatives Identified
When
ranking brainstormed alternatives, first rate each idea on possible
consequences, second as to probability of success.
| Rank & Order
of Alternatives |
Alternatives |
Possible Consequences |
Probability of Success |
- Best,
- Very Good
- Good,
- Average
- Poor
|
Stated behaviorally |
Positive or negative |
Percentage of chance of
success |
NOTE:
For more information on problem solving, look at Productive
Problem Solving in Tools for
Relationships or Communications
Model of Problem Solving in Tools for
Communication
| 
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with Life's
Stressors
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