Coping.org:
Tools for Coping
with Life's
Stressors
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11.
Teach clients to work out their anger. Tools for Anger Workout presents a system
for overcoming resistance and obstacles to expressing anger; reducing
depression; eliminating silent anger withdraw; overcoming pessimism, hostility,
negativity, cynicism; getting out hatred, resentment, rage; eliminating jumping
to negative assumptions and passive aggressiveness; stopping self-destructive
anger responses and eliminating revenge seeking. The system is ANGER:
A - Accept
N - Name
G - Get It Out
E - Energize
R - Resume
A
- Accept
Therapists
need to help their clients accept that they are feeling anger. Clients need to
be given permission to not deny they are angry and to face it head on. This may
be difficult if their past experience with anger has been painful, hurtful or
disastrous.
N
- Name
Next
clients need to name and identify what has them angry. They need to name the
stimulus, which is triggering the anger. They need to identify not only their
current anger but also if they can the old unresolved anger, which their current
anger stimulus is triggering.
G
- Get It Out
Clients,
once they are able to accept and name their anger, are encouraged to get it out
by expressive emotional anger workout in a private place on inanimate objects
and not on people. Anger workout is aggressive ventilation of anger such as:
Yelling
in a car with windows closed
Yelling
with a towel in mouth
Hitting
a punching bag or weight bag
Beating
on pillows, cushions or mattress
Yelling
in a vacant part of the house
Writing
letters to the stimulus, which are never sent
Making
lists of what the stimuli do to provoke anger
Journal
writing of anger ventilation
What
ever works for clients to ventilate anger
OR
Use
the Read, Write and Burn technique (DeShazer, 1988):
Step 1: Set a time for one hour, alone, same time every day Example: 8-9
p.m. (maximum of 1.5 hours)
Step 2: On odd numbered days, during their time, write all the
"good-bad" memories/all obsessive and anger thoughts. You must
write for one hour, even if you repeat the same statement over and over.
Step 3: On even numbered days, read the previous days notes with gusto
and lots of anger expression and then burn them.
Step 4: If any unwanted anger thoughts come up at other times you must
"table" them until the daily scheduled one hour time. Write a
brief note to remind yourself what was on your mind at the time so you can
write about it during your “Scheduled Time.”
This
technique is effective because it objectifies the clients’ anger. It does not
allow the clients’ intrusive angry thoughts to continue throughout the day. It
allows and permits the clients to express all negative thoughts and feelings. It
facilitates catharsis (Pearls, 1969) by "burning up" problems,
watching them "go up in smoke." It helps the clients to eventually
realize that there are better things to do than obsess over the negative.
E
- Energize
Once clients have aggressively ventilated and experienced emotional release of the anger this will energize them to feel calmer, less depressed, more relaxed, less tense or less stressed. Clients report that through anger workout they are freed up to feel a whole range of healthy positive emotions, which had been previously blocked, or unknown to them.
R
- Resume
Now
that they are energized by their anger workout, clients are encouraged to resume
involvement with the people who were the stimuli of their anger and to use
healthy assertive confrontation to let them know how their behaviors made them
feel in a cool, calm, relaxed and rational manner.
12.
Predict relapse. Utilize the RELAPSE system (Self-Esteem Seekers Anonymous -
SEA's Program Manual). In this system help clients to recognize that relapse of
old behaviors is a reality. The goal of the RELAPSE
system is to help clients
have fewer incidences of relapse and have a greater time span between each
relapse and to lessen the intensity of each relapse over time. The system is:
R - Recognize
E - Escape
L - Learn
A - Act
P - Protect
S - Support
E - Evaluate
R
- Recognize
Clients
are taught to recognize when they are in relapse. They are encouraged to admit
that they have fallen back into old patterns of thoughts, emotions and actions,
which are unhealthy, irrational or unrealistic. They are encouraged to use the
TEA system to identify what thoughts, emotions and actions are "sick"
in their relapse event.
E
- Escape
Clients
are then encouraged to use the ALERT system to assess, brainstorm healthier
alternatives, organize, relax and take action to escape from their current
relapse into "sick" thoughts, emotions and actions.
L
- Learn
Once
clients have escaped from their relapsing thoughts, emotions and actions they
then need to learn what were the variables, which led to their relapse. There
needs to do an honest appraisal of how thoroughly they have integrated their
healthy, rational and realistic thinking with their emotions and feelings. They
need to identify how authentic their changed actions and behaviors were. They
need to identify if their change was a "faked wellness" because they
changed their behaviors based on knowing what was correct or healthy but had not
changed their emotional response to the needed change. They need to identify if
their feelings are not in synch, harmony or congruent with their changed
thoughts and actions. They need to be able to use the TEA system to figure what
was out of step leading to the relapse event.
A
- Act
Once
clients have learned what went wrong to lead to the relapse event they need to
make plans and act to modify their current efforts at recovery. They need to
fine-tune their thoughts, emotions and actions so that they are consistent,
healthier, more rational, more realistic and supportive of their efforts to grow
and be healthy.
P
- Protect
Once
clients have developed new plans of action to alter their healing process they
need to protect themselves from a repeated relapse by developing new self talk
which recognizes that it is human to fall back into old habits of thoughts,
emotions and actions. They need to be realistic with themselves and not fall
victim to the need to be "perfect" in recovery.
They need to protect themselves from the beliefs, which are dangerous
traps, that "since I have already failed or fallen short, there is no sense
in going on," and "If I can't be perfect in my recovery - why
try?" They need to remind themselves that relapse is an expected part of
recovery. They can protect themselves from repeated relapse by self-forgiveness,
self-acceptance and self-loving.
S
- Support
As
added protection to help them through the process of getting "back on the
wagon" of recovery, clients are encouraged to seek out support from their
existing support networks. They are encouraged to ask their support people to
help protect them from quitting their recovery program as a result of the recent
relapse. They are encouraged to give their support people permission to
"call them on it" if they see them regressing into old
"sick" patterns of thoughts, emotions and actions which led to their
recent relapse event. This will help them to prevent a repeat of their relapse
event.
E
- Evaluate
Once
clients are back on the wagon of their recovery, they need to continuously
evaluate their thoughts, emotions and actions for any signs of the old
"sick" patterns. They need to closely monitor their self-scripts,
feelings and behaviors for any signs of potential relapse so that they can
rectify them immediately. Clients are encouraged to believe that to recover is a
life long process because old habits are hard to change and that as humans they
will fall back into old "sick" ways unless they keep vigilant and
alert for the signs of potential relapse.
To
assist clients develop a life style built on the belief that relapse will occur
at transition points in life, the ESBT program offers the Self Esteem Seekers
Anonymous-The SEA's Program Manual which is a 12 step program and program for a
life style of recovery in. In the manual is presented directions for therapists
to conduct a 12-step program in their own practices or agencies to provide
mutual support system for their clients to lessen the impact of relapse in the
future.
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