In Memoriam

In Buffalo News, February 9, 2004

Mom, in this year without you 'life has changed, been disassembled and rearranged'. Dyllan's entry helped ease the pain, but your love cannot be replaced. Loving you forever, YOUR DAUGHTER, SARAH

ONE YEAR LATER

My heart aches with pain on loss of my dear sister

Who was taken from us all too soon.

No day goes by that thoughts of her don't come,

With joy that I was privileged to be her brother.

She was more in life than most knew.

It took her death to open windows to her impact.

Selflessness, generosity, caring, and cheerful heart,

Were her trademark which touched others' souls.

Spans of time, distance, and responsibilities,

Kept us away, yet our spirits were one.

She was my idol, my mentor, my pal in youth,

And yet my challenge, my confusion, my loss in life.

Paulette will always be with me I know,

Because her goodness will live on and on.

Although she is no longer here in flesh,

Her smiles and love are in my daily view.

I refuse to let her memory fade,

Her life was too much of a gift to us all.

So my pledge I give to you my beloved one,

I will work to make my life better because of you.

By: Jim Messina

On the occasion of First Anniversary of Death of Paulette Messina Scafetta

In Loving Memory of My Sister, Paulette

          It has almost been a year to the date, exactly one hour away.  I was present at Paulette’s bedside when she took her last breath on earth. It was a moment in time that I will never forget.  I felt privileged to be there.  I knew she waited for everyone to be assembled. As I knew that was the only way she would have wanted it.  I talked with her and reassured her that everyone was there by her side.  I told her it was OK to go home now and release herself from her ties on earth. We all kissed our Mother, our Wife, our Sister, our friend, our mentor.  We were ready to let her go to the life beyond that she so richly deserved.  Those ties that we all had with Paulette were now ready to sever, to begin a new journey, a journey without her by our sides.

          Paulette was such a presence in our lives. She touched so many people. Everyone that knew her knew that their lives weren’t the same after they had met her, spent time with her, experienced her unselfish caring for others.  She was an amazing woman, a woman living in Christ’s image.  She was a loving, humble, compassionate person with more wisdom than anyone I have ever known.  Paulette was always there for you when you needed her most, unconditionally with the patience of Job.

          I have looked back on this past year that I have spent without my sister at my side and I now realize, I have been selfish.  I haven’t been able to let her go. I hang on to her memory and wish for her to return everyday.  I find myself thinking: “what would Paulette do?” ask her opinion on half a dozen things,  show her what I would love to buy her if she were only here,  ask her if I am doing all right, and tell her how wonderful her grandson is.  I am not the same since she has left. For this, I am sorry and ashamed.  This isn’t how Paulette would want it. She would want me to move on in her loving memory and do the best I can, as she always did. 

          I went to church yesterday to ask forgiveness for my selfishness and most importantly to ask the Lord to take Paulette home.  I told Paulette that she could leave me now and trust that I will carry on in her memory and be the person that God intended me to be.  I will take all that Paulette has given me all of my 48 years and become a better person.  I thanked God for giving me Paulette for as long as He had.  I thanked Paulette for all that she had done for us on earth.  I know that she is now in Christ’s presence dancing up a storm with all of His Angels.  Now I believe in the Holy Spirit’s gift of eternal life and happiness, for if there were anyone who deserved it more it is my sister, Paulette.  I know she is happy.

Paulette, Love You Always and Forever,

Lucille

5:40 am, February 9, 2004      

The Twenty Dollar Bill

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill.

In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"

Hands started going up.

He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this.

He proceeded to crumple the $20 dollar bill up. 

He then asked, "Who still wants it?"

Still the hands were up in the air.

Well, he replied, "What if I do this?"

 And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.

He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.

"Now, who still wants it?"

Still the hands went into the air.

My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson.

No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value.

It was still worth $20.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.

We feel as though we are worthless.

But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.

Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you.

The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE.

You are special - Don't EVER forget it."

The Weaver

My life is but a weaving

Between my Lord and me,

I cannot choose the colors

He worketh steadily.

Oftimes he weaveth sorrow,

And I in foolish pride

Forget He sees the upper

And I, the underside.

Not till the loom is silent

And the shuttles cease to fly

Shall God unroll the canvas

And explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful

In the Weaver's skillful hand

As the threads of gold and silver

In the pattern he has planned.

A Sacred Heartfelt Place

If tears could build a stairway,

And memories were a lane,

We would walk right up to heaven

And bring you back again.

No farewell words were spoken.

No time to say goodbye,

You were gone before we knew it,

And only God knows why.

Our hearts still ache in sadness,

And secret tears still flow.

What it meant to lose you --

No one can ever know.

But now we know you want us

To mourn for you no more.

To remember all the happy times,

Life still has much in store.

Since you'll never be forgotten,

We pledge to you today -

A hallowed place within our hearts

Is where you'll always be.

LOVE AND MISS YOU ALWAYS

JEAN AND BILL

God's Boxes

I have in my hands two boxes,

Which God gave me to hold.

He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black box,

And all your joys in the gold."

I heeded His words, and in the two boxes,

Both my joys and sorrows I stored,

But though the gold became heavier each day,

The black was as light as before.

With curiosity, I opened the black,

I wanted to find out why,

And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole,

Which my sorrows had fallen out by.

I showed the hole to God, and mused,

"I wonder where my sorrows could be!"

 He smiled a gentle smile and said,

"My child, they're all here with me."

I asked God, why He gave me the boxes

Why the gold and the black with the hole?

"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,

The black is for you to let go."

Reactions to "One Year Later

From a Co-Worker

I don't even know how to begin.  But I worked right with Paulette the last few years helping her here with her job (not that she really needed it) but we would talk for hours just about everything.  There is a big gap in my heart from your loss and ours.  I talked to Dick just before Christmas and we talked about an hour... He really misses Paulette but he said it made him closer to his daughters and new grandson.  How Paulette would of loved her grandson. She was always telling me her plans for her future.  I often wonder if I had not talk her into retiring would she still be with us.  When she retired she just didn't get around much and because of her disability she was homebound. But working she had to do things and move around and had all day companionship. She helped me a lot when my brother had to lose his leg because of sugar... He is doing fine with his artificial leg... but there is still a worry about the other leg... I still keep people here remembering about Paulette because I use her as an example so often.  I will say Paulette would of done this or that and they would stop and reflect upon her or make a comment. Not one bad word has ever been spoken to me about her. She was just a super super person and I truly miss seeing her across from my desk.  I always said she reminded me of Betty Boop with her warm smiling face, and I always was Bonnie Bedilia to her. Even new people hired know of Paulette. I knew she believed in Jesus Christ because we would talk about the good Lord so I know she is whole, happy and running around and that we all will see her soon. Her last year working she said to me she was tired and work wasn't fun anymore. I just thought that she should retire and try to enjoy leisure life, but it was cut short. I was going to go to lunch once a week at her house and bring her the latest gossip but there wasn't time for even one lunch. But I have her picture (which I copied off your picture) and when I open my drawer there is her smiling face...God Bless Her and You and all her family.  Thank you keeping her here and alive with us and for listening to me.                                          

In Jesus my Savior    Bonnie Klosin

From a Cousin

Thank you for your e-mail of February 9^th on the occasion of Paulette’s One Year Death Anniversary. The tributes are beautiful and certainly well-deserved.  Thanks for sharing them with us. God, His Holy Mother, and all the Saints and Angels must have enjoyed Paulette during the past year.  Our loss was Heaven’s gain!

Love – Sara & Jack

From a Cousin

That  a year has gone by already...  She was such a great person. I will never forget that great smile of hers and her special laugh.  She certainly is an angel in heaven...

Love Patti

From a Neighbor

I "put off" reading the email regarding the passing of the one year since her death.  Until tonight.  And I was right.....the tears began streaming down my face as I read the email (s).

I just live one street over from Dick and Paulette's house.  She and I would try to see each other often.  We did crafts together.  I taught her things. She taught me things.  We talked about EVERYTHING.  Every now and then we would get so tickled at each other that we would have to stop what we were doing to wipe the "happy" tears that were streaming from our faces.  She advised me. Gave me opinions. Lectured me, etc.  I cherished every thing she had to say.  I miss her so much.  I visited her at the hospital and the last thing I said to her was "I love you Paulette" and she said "I love you too Carolyn".  What perfect last words to say and to hear.  I go to her house once a month now and attempt to teach Dick how to cook.  We have a very nice time and always talk about Paulette.  I still see her sitting at the table. Or scooting around in her wheelchair getting dinner ready.  Or doing her crafts.  She was one of the best friends I have ever had.  I felt privileged when she asked me to pick her up on Tuesdays from her part time job at and didn't mind at all when she asked me to carry her leg to the car and then go back to get her her.  I got a few "looks" but was happy that "I" was the person helping her out.  What a truly wonderful person she was and I am so grateful to have gotten to be her friend for so many years.

Thanks for listening.  Take care and God Bless you.

Carolyn Anderson