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Parenting Pathfinders: Tools for Raising Responsible Children - Section 5

Parenting Pathfinders Track Structures for Children

5.0. Family telephone

 

5.1. Telephone usage

Pathfinders train their children to use the telephone appropriately. They teach their children to answer the phone at an early toddler age. They teach them how to dial for emergency numbers and family or friends. These parents do not encourage the their children to view the phone as a recreational device but rather as one to make important message delivery. Appropriate telephone etiquette is practiced in Pathfinders' homes.

Natural consequences:

  • If you do not use the phone appropriately, then you will not learn the benefit of information exchange which the phone provides its users.
  • If you do not use appropriate etiquette on the telephone, then the people on the other end might hang up because they will think they got the wrong household.

Logical consequences:

  • If you abuse the privilege of telephone usage by spending too much time on the phone or using it inappropriately, then we will have to limit your access to it.
  • If you do not learn emergency numbers and how to dial them, then you are probably too young to use the phone and we will restrict your use of it until you learn the necessary skills to use the phone wisely.

 

5.2. Telephone location

Pathfinders place phones in public rooms and usually only in the parents' private room(s). They do not place a phone in their children's rooms. They make their children realize at an early age that the phone is to be used primarily for family business and to contact relatives and friends and relatives out of town. They place phones only where business of the family is usually conducted and do not place them in places of recreation or entertainment. Phones are typically located within public access in Pathfinders' homes.

Natural consequences:

  • If the phone is not conveniently located in the house, then it will not be readily accessible in case of emergencies or when vital business needs to conducted by phone.
  • If the phone is located in the private rooms of the children, then the children might abuse the use of the phone.

Logical consequences:

  • If you conduct prolonged conversations on the phone in the public setting where the phone is located, then we will have to restrict your use of the phone by setting time limits.
  • If you are not able to behave yourself while I am speaking on the phone, then I will have to send you to your room until I am done speaking on the phone.

 

5.3. Telephone time considerations

Pathfinders role model appropriate length of calls on telephones. They do not practice daily phone calls which last hours in length. They also role model that calls are not made out or welcomed in after the normal "bedtime" or before the normal "wake up time" of the family. Pathfinders role model telephone calls of reasonable length during the normal business hours of the family. They keep their calls short enough to keep the line free for other incoming calls. Telephones in Pathfinders' homes are utilized for reasonable lengths within reasonable hours.

Natural consequences:

  • If you spend an inordinate time on the telephone talking to someone, then you are tying up the phone line preventing other people from reaching our house or preventing family members from making calls out.
  • If you make telephone calls during hours other than normal awake times, then you will be tired the next day after you stayed up late to use the phone.

Logical consequences:

  • If you make calls which last more than 15 minutes, then we will have to restrict your use of the phone the rest of that day and all of the next day.
  • If you make calls after your normal bedtime or before your normal wake up times, then we will have to restrict your use of the phone the rest of that day and all of the next.

 

5.4. Children's telephones

Pathfinders do not buy telephones for their children's private rooms nor do they put in a separate line for them. Children are made to realize that the use of the phone is a shared experience in the family and are not given the opportunity to abuse this privilege by extended individual use in their own rooms. When the children are older and capable of earning their own money they might be given permission to purchase individual phone units for their private rooms or pay for the installation and maintenance of a private phone line into their private rooms. Such privileges are utilized by Pathfinders with their children as logical consequences for other desired behaviors and conduct. Pathfinders are cautious in allowing children's telephones so as not to isolate them from the rest of the family.

Natural consequences:

  • If you are able to make enough money to pay for the installation and maintenance of a telephone in your private room, then you will be allowed to do so as long as you do not abuse the privilege.
  • If you have a phone in your own private room, then you might isolate yourself from the rest of the family and become too disengaged from us.

Logical consequences:

  • If you continue to isolate yourself from our family by spending so much time on your own phone in your private room, then we will have to restrict your use of it to specific hours each day.
  • If you do not pay your telephone bills, then we will take the phone out of your private room.

 

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