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| |  Parenting Pathfinders: Tools for Raising Responsible Children -
Section 5
Parenting Pathfinders Track Structures for
Children
1.3.1. Self-dressing and undressing
Pathfinders encourage their children to learn how to undress and dress themselves.
The goal being to have them fully self-dressing by 24-30 months old. They are taught to
tie their own shoes with the goal of it being fully self-accomplished by the end of
kindergarten year. Once the children are completely self-sufficient in their self-dressing
skills, they are provided a morning schedule to accommodate their preparation for the
day. They are encouraged to select their own clothes and put them out the night before.
They are given in the morning schedule enough time to get dressed. They are
presented with the logical consequence of being driven to school in night clothes with
their clean clothes being put on in the car, bus or front porch on the way to school or
other planned morning activity.
Natural consequences:
- If you do not dress yourself, then you will have to go around all day naked or in your
bed clothes.
- If you do not learn to dress yourself, then you will not be able to be able to fit in with
the other children in kindergarten or elementary school.
- If you are not dressed appropriately for the outside weather, then you might get sick
from the cold or wetness.
Logical consequences:
- If you are not dressed in time to get to the bus or car before it departs, then you will
have to dress yourself on the bus or in the car.
- If you are not dressed appropriately for the weather outside, then you will not be
allowed to go outside.
1.3.2. Care of own clothes
Pathfinders require their children to take care of their own clothes. They hold their
children responsible to put away clean clothes in drawers, closets, and dressers. They
hold their children responsible to place dirty clothes in designated hampers or baskets.
They are expected to wear a set of clean clothes each day. They are expected to not
wear school or "Sunday best" when they play. They are encouraged to recognize the
natural consequence of social non-acceptance and social sanctions for wearing dirty,
crumpled, and messy clothes. They are also responsible for the natural consequence of
not having clean clothes to wear if they do not place dirty clothes in the appointed
locations.
Natural consequences:
- If you have not put your clean clothes away in their appointed places, then you will
not be able to find them when you need them and you may not be able to have a set
of clean clothes to put on.
- If you wear dirty, crumpled or messy clothes, then you may be subjected to social
ridicule, non-acceptance, or sanctions.
Logical consequences:
- If you do not put your dirty clothes in the dirty clothes hamper in time for when the
laundry is being done, then you will not have them clean when you want them.
- If you do not take care of your clothes in a responsible way, then we will not buy you
new ones when you ask for them.
1.3.3. Doing own laundry
Pathfinders require their children to learn to do their own laundry when they reach
middle school age (11-12 years of age). They are taught to use washing machines,
dryers, hang out wet clothes, fold clean clothes, and put them away. A separate
hamper is put in each child's room. A schedule is set up for all family members to get
their clothes cleaned each week. Children are made responsible for the natural
consequence that if they do not wash, dry, fold, and put away their own clothes they will
not have clean ones to wear.
Natural consequences:
- If you do not take care of laundering your own clothes, now that you have been
trained to do so, then you will not have clean clothes when you need them.
- If you do not do your laundry at your scheduled time, then you may not be able to do
your laundry when you want to, because someone else has been scheduled then.
Logical consequences:
- If you abuse the machinery, water, electric or laundry supplies they you may not be
allowed to use our laundry facilities to do your own laundry. You will need to pay for
your own laundry at a laundromat or cleaners.
- If you do not take care of doing your own laundry, then we will not be willing to buy
you any new clothes when you need them.
1.3.4. Selecting own clothes
Pathfinders allow children to select their own clothes which they intend to wear each
day. Parents give their children style, fashion, coordination of pieces and colors, and
appropriateness for season of year. The natural consequences of others response and
reaction and the climatic conditions are used by Pathfinders to assist their children
make healthy choices of clothes. As children grow older and begin to seek "designer" or
the "in" clothes when shopping, they are instructed by parents of the economics of such
choices. They provide their children a chance to get the more expensive choices as
long as either a ceiling is met on new clothes purchased or they are expected to
contribute a "fair share" of the expense from their own money. The children then
experience the reality of fewer clothes at higher costs or less personal money in order
to have more clothes.
Natural consequences:
- If you chose to wear clothes which draw negative attention, then you will have to
experience the negative feelings coming from such attention.
- If you wear inappropriate clothes based on the climatic conditions, then you will
experience the impact of the weather and you might possibly get ill.
Logical consequences:
- If you want clothes which are outside of the budgeted amount, then you will need to
pay the difference on your own.
- If you insist on the "in clothes" which are inordinately more expensive than the norm,
then you can split the difference in cost with us by paying the additional amount.
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