 Growing Down:
Tools for Healing the Inner Child
Visualizations
Content:
Directions for use of visualizations
The following are scripts for two visualizations to assist you
in your "growing down" efforts to heal your inner child. Take each
script and read it in your own voice on a tape recorder. Then use the tape to
help you spend time in meditation, stress reduction, relaxation training, and
visual imagery to help you gain the peace, serenity, and healing which you need.
Visualization # 1: The Precious Present
As I calm myself down, I am
visualizing finding a comfortable place. Perhaps in the woods; near a bubbling
creek; on the shore of the ocean; a favorite place where I come to rest to
experience my precious moment.
I calm myself down as I sit in my
special place. I look into my own heart. I see in my heart an inner peace, an
inner me, an inner child. I see that little me with whom I too often forget to
get in contact. I look into the eyes of my inner child and I feel relaxed, calm
and at peace because I know that inner child is me. I wrap my arms around the
inner me to get calm and relaxed as we begin to experience this precious moment.
As we sit together in my special place we feel surrounding us an encompassing
warmth and caring of my Higher Power. This Power is there for me when I need it
to provide the healing graces when I am feeling depressed, alone, forgotten, or
abandoned.
I experience this precious present of
inner peace with my inner child, my adult me, and my Higher Power. I have let go
of the past. I no longer fear the future but only experience this precious,
precious present. I begin to inform my inner peace, my inner child, that inner
me, of the following:
I
am who I am. You cannot change me so please do not try. So let up with the
criticisms, put downs and attempts to make me fit your "box" for me.
Face
it, it is easier for you just to accept me as I am than to work at making me who
you want me to be. Of course you do not have to agree with what I say or do,
just
accept me as the human I am. I am weak, have sinned, failed, and have made many
mistakes in my life. Hey, that's what makes me the "unique me" that I
am. I will never be perfect, ideal, or the "image" you want for me.
Accept me for who I am as I accept you, my inner child, for who you are.
Let's
have fun together and allow our "real selves" the freedom to be
"us" We can be a team of unconditional mutual love and acceptance if
you relax and let it happen.
Do not put me down nor make me feel
unhappy about me. I am special, and I like being what I am. Me.
I like my abilities. I really like
all of those good, sincere attributes I am willing to admit to myself. I like
the competencies that I have been showing myself and others of late. I like the
way I am handling crises in my life. I enjoy the challenge of trying to stay
with myself in the precious present. I appreciate the way I am handling all of
the tribulations, the pressures, anxiety, and tension in my life. I appreciate
that I am trying to help me work on my recovery. I appreciate that I am willing
to tell myself these positive things about myself that I have for too long
forgotten and not believed.
I thank myself for doing positive
selfBtalk work. As I looked into the mirror this morning, I saw that I had
beautiful hair and I loved that hair. And I loved those eyes. Give me the
strength and the power to look at me. My eyes look beyond the surface beauty and
into the inner beauty of myself and of every moment in which I live.
I love myself for the ears that I
possess. They give me a power to listen, to hear, to open my heart to the inner
messages that for too long have been locked up inside of my inner me. And I love
those ears for what they hear and what they give me the ability to do.
I love my face which is the mirror
that I give to the world. I love the face that I show others in a sincere and
honest way. I love that face because it is what people first see of me and makes
me uniquely me.
I love my neck which connects that
wonderful head of mine to the rest of my body. My neck is the channel between my
brain and the rest of me. It is that neck which is the strong connecting piece
between my mind and my heart. It is an important part of me which I too often
ignore. I appreciate it and I will adorn it at times to remind myself of how
wonderful it is for me.
I love the central trunk of my body
which is the possessor of my heart and of my lungs and of all my vital organs.
And I love that it is so complex that I will never understand it fully in my
lifetime.
I love my arms that help me reach out
to others and bring others to me. My arms give me the ability to hug myself, to
let me know that I am real.
I appreciate and love my hands which
give me the sensation of feeling the world in which I live.
I love my legs because they give me
the mobility to move me into the exciting places of my life. They give me the
opportunity to go and to see the rest of the world and to interact with others.
I love my feet because they are the
powerful tool that helps me become grounded in my life. They are the tool by
which I know I am alive because I feel the earth on which I stand.
I love all of me and all of my body.
I promise you that I will spend each day letting you know how much I love you. I
will be true and honest to you when I see there is a need to change.
I love you, my inner child, my inner
me, my inner consciousness, just for who you are. Not for who I want you to be,
because you are my precious present. You make me real. You make me experience
the here and now with all of its beauty and strength. I promise you that I will
be there for you in the present whenever you need me. And I hope you promise me
that you will be there for me when I need you. For I will present you parts of
myself slowly and, if you are patient and tender, I will open my feelings that
mostly stay closed. I will bring out those places, people, and things, sounds
and smells, loves and frustrations, hopes and sadness, that have too long been
hidden inside of me. I will share with you, my inner child, my inner me, the
secrets of who I am so you can have a better understanding of what it is that I
need when I call upon you.
Be there for me as I will be there
for you. Be a link with me to our friend, our Higher Power, who embraces us at
this precious moment and gives me the strength to talk to you in this loving and
caring way. I promise you when I feel ill at ease, when I feel depressed and
lost, when I feel hopeless and ready to give up that I will calm my inner
spirit. I will have a healing of the heart. I will inform you of your goodness
so that we both grow in mutual, unconditional love. We will direct ourselves to
be ever present to ourselves in the precious present so that we can get the most
out of our life and not lose it in the hurt of the past or in the fears of the
future.
Inner child, you may have felt
lonely, abandoned and forgotten at times. From now on you need to know that I
will always try to be there for you. From now on when I feel lonely, abandoned,
isolated and forgotten, the thought of you being there in my heart will heal me.
Together when we feel alone, forgotten and abandoned we can jointly remind each
other that there is a power greater than us that is always there for us if we
search deeply into our hearts for it to help us heal.
I promise you, my inner child, that I
am ready to take risks. I am ready to trust you and myself so that the two of us
can feel more secure in the precious present. By being vulnerable to one
another, we will be able to grow in mutual love and acceptance. There is no need
for either of us to feel alone or abandoned in the future for we will nurture
one another. This I promise you this day.
As I have calmed myself, healed my
spirit and informed myself of positive self-talk, I have grown in love for
myself in an unconditional way. I direct myself to be my own source of
strength
and hope for the struggles that become overwhelming as I face each day. I make a
commitment to that inner child that I am holding and to the adult that the
Higher Power is holding that we will work on reconnecting on a regular basis
with our Higher Power for the spiritual strength we need in our recovery
process.
I relax myself and begin to prepare
myself to return to the real world. I begin to prepare myself to enter again
that precious present of the real world where my inner child is never seen and
where my Higher Power is often forgotten. I prepare for this real world,
however, with a response of hope and inner healing that I can make it because I
believe in myself.
I begin to say: I am capable. I am
loveable. I believe in me. Ever growing in me. Self-accepting me. Taking risks
with me. Forgiving me. And respecting me. Willing to share interesting and fun
times alone. Expecting goodness only from me. While nurturing me with
unconditional love from me. And I acknowledge my visibility to myself. I let go
and heal as I become my own best friend. I grow in friendship with my inner
child, and the two of us can be best friends.
So I begin to take leave now. Say
good-bye to my inner child for the moment as I let go of the embrace of my
Higher Power and return from the comfortable place. I begin to prepare myself
for re-entry into my everyday world.
In counting backwards from
Five - I begin to say to
myself no more criticism. No more condemnation.
Four - Less hostility, less
fighting.
Three - Less ridiculing and
less shyness.
Two - Less shame and less
guilt.
One - More tolerance and
patience for myself. As I experience the precious present now and forever.
Note:
For help in forming this visualization read: The Precious Present
by Spencer Johnson. New York, Doubleday and Company, Inc., 1984.
Visualization # 2: Tonia, the Tree
I calm myself down, leaving behind
for a while some of my depression and sense of loss. I move forward with my life
letting go of the hopelessness and abandonment that I feel. I find myself
walking on a wooded path up a hill. Soon I am resting under a very large tree,
Tonia by name. As I sit under this beautiful tree I welcome a little child who
is walking my way. As the child approaches me, I open my arms and I let that
child get into my lap. I cradle that child so that that child's spirit can be
healed from its sense of depression, loss, hopelessness, and abandonment.
The child is quite concerned today
because it has found out that it must change, it must grow. The child is quite
scared of the risks that are involved in this change. The child is convinced
that once the changes are made it will all be for naught. The child will be
alone, abandoned and forgotten. Again as I cradle my child in my arms under
Tonia, I sense a hovering spirit that has Tonia, me and my inner child wrapped
in a big cradle that is spiritual strength. It is my Higher Power who I know is
there to help me through this change. This Power will help me gain the serenity
to accept the unchangeables and uncontrollables in my life which is a change for
me.
As I sit there under the shade of
Tonia, I begin to tell my inner child that growth comes only from within, not
from what I do on the surface but from how I feel about myself. Growth comes
from emotional recognition of what is healthy for me. Growth is not in the
actions that I take but in the feelings about what is real in my life. I grow
from the inside out. It is OK to allow myself to make these changes so that I
can grow. I may have relied upon others for support, to be listened to, to hear
those feelings, to hear my story told. I may have relied upon a doctor, a
counselor, or therapy, counseling or a group to help lead me to recognize those
issues which I must change in order to grow. Just as birds fly away when winter
comes leaving Tonia alone, so too will my support someday leave me alone. Not as
a weakling, not to forget me, not so that I am lost, but they will leave me
alone in my strength from my inner growth. I tell my inner child: it's OK to
someday grow stronger and to stand alone. It's OK to leave the nest as the birds
have to, to fly on my own because it is only in flying alone that one grows. The
risks involved are great but I know I will be no worse off than what I am
currently experiencing. It's OK. I can face the risks because the outcome is
certainly going to be better than what I am currently experiencing.
I give excuses. Maybe it's just a
change in my job. Maybe I just need a different house. I'm sure a new car would
make me feel better. Maybe if only my kids would leave. I'm sure I would grow
much better in a different group with new friends, with new faces in my life.
But those are just excuses keeping me from allowing myself to grow from within.
Because at some point I must face that I must rely solely on myself. You and I,
my inner child, will grow and get stronger, and be able to fly on our own. It is
OK to change. Change can become a tradition in my life as well. New goals can be
pursued and my dreams can be brought to fruition. Change is what will help me
grow. It makes for a life of excitement, fun, and relaxation, but it also makes
for a life of enjoyment. It makes life worth pursuing.
How could anyone fail to love me? Me
and my inner child who is so brave, so smart and so creative. I can be an
inspiration to myself to continue to change and grow so that I can find new
patterns by which I can live in my life so that my labors, my work, effort, and
energies that I put into recovery can grow into competent shoots of strength.
The fruits of my labor will be personal growth and I deserve it. I will be with
you for the rest of my life, my inner child. Together we can accomplish
anything. There is no crisis too great that we can't handle. There is no
challenge or tribulation that we can't face. There is no pressure, anxiety, or
tension that we can't relax. We can do it. We are capable people. We will do it.
We will grow in self deservedness and self-confidence. Through change and inner
growth we will become our visible best friend believing in ourselves, ever
growing, self accepting, and taking those risks to grow and change from within.
And how will we do that? Self forgiveness, self-respect, and allowing ourselves
to have interesting and fun and relaxing times. By recognizing, expecting
goodness from within me, I will blossom and show the change like colors change
on Tonia's leaves. Through self nurturing and giving myself unconditional love
with no boundaries and no limitations, I will grow from within. I will
acknowledge that I exist. I will be visible. We will begin to take the risk to
let go of those uncontrollables and those unchangeable things in my life so that
I can heal from within, to become my own best friend.
As I continue to cradle my inner
child and feel myself cradled in the arms of my Higher Power, I recognize that I
have become an instrument of inner peace. I recognize there is no hatred too
great that I cannot show love. That there is no injury too great that I cannot
pardon. By holding close to my inner child and my Higher Power I recognize that
there is no doubt that my faith in myself cannot overcome. I recognize that
there is no despair that I experience that I cannot replace with hope. For the
darkness I experience in my loneliness, abandonment and sense of being
forgotten, I can shed light. When I experience sadness I know I can replace it
with joy. My inner child, I will console you as you console me. I will
understand you and you will understand me. I will love you and you will love me.
It is in giving to you, my inner child, that I will receive. It is in pardoning
myself for my past faults and failings that I will be pardoned. It is in
embracing you, my inner child, that I will gain that inner strength to grow from
within because my growth from within comes from making you a stronger more
visible part of my life. I deserve that. I deserve you to be present in me. And
I love you.
I love you for your little impish
ways. I love you for your naiveté and your lack of concern for the future. I
love you for your risk taking. I love you for your belief that anything is
possible. I love you because you are. And I love you because you deserve to be
loved. In loving you I am taking that risk to allow myself to grow from within.
By working at making you ever visible to me in my life I am taking that risk for
others to see the changes in me.
You and I, inner child, need more
strength than we can give one another. For that reason, we accept that we can't
do it alone without a Higher Power present to us. This is a risk for us because
we are not sure there is even a Higher Power. We feel it at times and other
times we don't. We are going to give it all that we have and say, ``I believe
there is a Higher Power for us.'' I embrace that Higher Power so that my
spirituality will grow in the belief that there is strength that comes from
uniting with others in a common belief in a common way. That strength and help
comes from a common unified voice. A voice asking for support and guidance in
our lives.
You
know, inner child, change is inevitable. I must change. There is no way I can
avoid it. But from that change comes possibility. And the possibility will be
more than what I currently am and what I was in the past. There is a possibility
for me to be present to myself and to others in my life. I will allow my dreams
and hopes to prosper. So I promise you today, my inner child, that I will begin
to celebrate the need for change in my life and not commiserate it. I will
celebrate the challenge of inner growth and we will celebrate the inner healing
that comes from such a journey of faith.
We know the answer. Prayer plus
positive thinking leads to creative change. God always answers prayers. When the
idea is not right He says: ``No.'' When the timing is not right He says:
``Slow.'' When I am not ready He says: ``Grow.'' When all is in order He says:
``Go.'' And go I will now. Back to my everyday life prepared to continue to look
at challenges, tribulations, and problems, much more prepared to deal with
change with a ``can do'' attitude. I believe I need to let go of what I have too
long tried to hold on to and control in my life. I am open to accept that I am a
human being and not perfect. I have the possibility to grow even if I am not
perfect. So I say goodbye to my inner child as I uncradle my child from my arms.
As the child walks off, I say goodbye for now, but it won't be long forgotten
and I will stay in touch.
And as I say goodbye to my inner
child, I accept that I will change, that there are risks involved in changing,
but it is worth the risk. So I say goodbye and I prepare myself to come back
from that lovely setting underneath the tree called Tonia. And as we move away
from the tree I count backwards from
Five saying: ``Hey, look at
me. I am proud of me. My perception of myself is strong as it can be. I have
begun to choose positive actions for my body, mind and heart. And if I do get
down and out, I know where to start. I will work hard on my gifts and I will
tell myself the truth. I will treat myself with actions fair and true. Because
when I treat myself positively everyday, then I will learn how to love
me.''
Four, I walk further away from
my child and the tree ready to look at the impact of change in my life.
Three, accepting support from
others and willing to take those actions I need to change knowing that someday I
will only have myself to rely on as I change.
Two, ready to take that risk
to share how change frightens me at times. And
One, prepared to be open and
honest in my communications with others about how I react to change.
Note:
For help in forming this visualization, read: Tonia, the Tree by
Sandy Stryber. Santa Barbara, California, Advocacy Press, 1988.
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