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Self-esteem
Irrational Beliefs
Affirmations
Guilt
Trust
Insecurity
Vulnerable
Risk Taker
Inner Child
Fears
Fear Success
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Pride
Patience
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 Tools
for Personal Growth
Handling Fear of Success
Content:
What is fear of success?
-
Suppressing
anxieties of not being good enough,
-
Uniting
all talents and virtues for a greater good
-
Confronting
and dismissing existing fears in an appropriate manner
, Recognizing
and welcoming the
-
Chance
to triumph over competition without feeling unworthy or undeserving
-
Expressing
views and opinions without hesitation. Setting
-
Sights
on a goal and achieving it with both sacrifices and
rewards. These make up the rough climb, the seemingly impossible
-
Steps
that if completed always lead straight to success,
rewarding those who persevere.
-
Melissa
M. Messina
Fear of success is the:
-
Fear
that you will accomplish all that you set out to, but that you still won't
be happy, content, or satisfied once you reach your goal.
-
Belief
that you are undeserving of all the good things and recognition that come
your way as a result of your accomplishments and successes.
-
Opposite
of fear of failure, in that fear of failure is the fear of making mistakes
and losing approval. Fear of success is the fear of accomplishment and being
recognized and honored.
-
Lack
of belief in your own ability to sustain your progress, and the
accomplishments you have achieved in your life.
-
Fear
that your accomplishments can self-destruct at anytime.
-
Belief
that no matter how much you are able to achieve or accomplish, it will never
be enough to sustain success.
-
Belief
that there are others out there who are better than you, who will replace or
displace you if you do not maintain your performance record.
-
Belief
that success is an end in itself; yet that end is not enough to sustain your
interest and/or commitment.
-
Fear
that once you have achieved the goals you have worked diligently for, the
motivation to continue will fade.
-
Fear that you will find no happiness in your
accomplishments; that you will be perpetually dissatisfied with life.
What are the negative consequences of the fear of
success?
Fear of success can result in:
-
A
lack of effort to achieve goals you have set for yourself in school, on the
job, at home, in relationships, or in your personal growth.
-
Self-destructive behavior: tripping yourself up to make
sure you do not sustain a certain level of success or achievement you once
had in school, on the job, at home, in relationships, or in your personal
growth.
-
Problems
making decisions, being unable to solve problems.
-
Losing
the motivation or the desire to grow, achieve, and succeed.
-
Chronic
underachievement.
-
Feeling
guilt, confusion, and anxiety when you do achieve success. This leads you to
falter, waver, and eventually lose your momentum.
-
Sabotaging
any gains you made in your personal growth and mental health, because once
you become healthier, a better problem solver, and more "together,''
you fear that no one will pay attention to you. You are habituated to
receiving help, sympathy, and compassionate support.
-
Your
choosing to do just the opposite of what you need to do to be happy,
healthy, and successful.
-
Reinforcing
your chronic negativity, chronic pessimism, and chronic lack of achievement
since you cannot, visualize yourself in a contented, successful life.
-
Denouncing
your achievements and accomplishments; seeking ways in which you can
denigrate yourself enough to lose what you've gained.
What do those who fear success believe?
-
I
have worked so hard to get this far, yet I need to keep on working hard; I'm
not sure the effort is worth it.
-
I
know people care about me when I am down and out, but will they like me when
I am on top and successful?
-
I've
never been happy before, so how can I be sure I'll be happy once I achieve
my goals?
-
I
am nothing, and I deserve nothing.
-
How
can people like me if I succeed in reaching my goals in life?
-
I
can't sustain the momentum I would need to achieve my goals.
-
How
can I be sure that my good fortunes won't go sour and be destroyed?
-
There
are always more demands and more needs that have to be met in order for me
to be successful, no matter what I do it will never be enough.
-
They
are all better, brighter, smarter, and more talented than I am. I really
don't deserve to be successful.
-
It's
hard to be at the top!
-
Everyone
is out to shoot down the head man!
-
No
one really likes a winner.
-
Everyone
goes for the underdog.
-
I
am happiest when I am under pressure and challenged.
-
Hard
work, no play, and constant effort make me happy. What would I do if it were
different?
-
I
feel so guilty when I realize how much I have been given in my life.
-
I'm
always afraid I'm going to lose it all.
-
Starting
over again gives me meaning and a sense of mission and purpose.
-
I'm
so bored with what I've accomplished. What's left to do?
-
Everyone
has the right to fail in life, and I have the right to choose to fail if I
want to.
What new behavior patterns can help in overcoming your
fear of success?
-
Learning
to reinforce yourself for the hard work, effort, and sacrifices you've made
to achieve success
-
Being
able to honestly appraise your level of achievement, success, and
accomplishment
-
Accepting
yourself as being healthy, "together,'' happy, successful, prosperous, and
accomplished
-
Not
giving yourself any excuses for being unsuccessful
-
Giving
others in your life permission to give you honest, open, candid feedback
when they see you self-destructing or backsliding
-
Monitoring
your level of commitment and motivation to reach your goals
-
Visualizing
your life when you are successful
-
Giving
others credit, recognition, and support for their personal achievements,
successes, and accomplishments
-
Honest,
open, realistic self-talk that encourages you to work your hardest to
achieve the goals you have set for yourself
-
Accepting
the compliments and recognition of others with an open heart and mind
Steps to overcoming fear of success
Step
1: You first need to identify the fear of success in your
life. To do this, answer questions ``a'' through ``j'' in your journal for
each of the following twelve areas:
-
at
school
-
on
the job
-
with
family
-
in
marriage
-
in
relationships
-
with
friends
-
in
your career
-
in
your emotional life
-
in
your hobbies
-
in
sports
-
in
your physical health
-
in
your spiritual life
a.
What do I think will happen if I achieve success here?
b.
What would success in this area of my life look like?
c.
In what ways do I feel undeserving of success here?
d.
Who am I afraid of hurting or intimidating if I achieve success here?
e.
What do I think is lacking to keep me from sustaining success in this
area?
f.
What are my biggest concerns about succeeding in this area?
g.
Who do I believe is more deserving of the success I have or will
achieve here?
h.
How motivated am I in the struggle for success in this area?
i.
In what ways do I think that once I achieve success here that I will
lose focus or direction in other areas of my life?
j.
In what ways do I think that I'll be unsatisfied or feel unworthy if I
achieve success in this area?
Step
2: Once you have completed Step 1, answer the following
questions for the same twelve areas:
a.
What evidence is there that I have not sustained enough effort to
achieve my goals in this area?
b.
What are my long range goals for this area?
c.
In what ways do I self-destruct achievement and success here?
d.
How much of a problem do I have in making decisions here?
e.
In what ways has my motivation been diminished in this area?
f.
In what ways have I been an underachiever in this area?
g.
Have I ever felt guilt, confusion or anxiety when I did achieve a level
of success here?
h.
Have I ever feared losing people's attention, sympathy, or concern if I
achieved success here?
i.
Have I ever chosen just the opposite of what I needed to be successful in
this area?
j.
Have I ever put myself down for achieving success in this area?
Step
3: After looking at the negative consequences of the fear of
success in each areas of life, identify the beliefs that lead you to fear
success. Once you identify the beliefs for each area, refute them if they are
irrational, and replace them with rational beliefs. If your beliefs are negative
self-scripts, replace them with positive self-affirming scripts. Use the Tools
for
Coping
tools to assist in this.
Step
4: After you have identified your irrational beliefs and
replaced them with rational beliefs and self-affirming scripts, identify what new
behavior you need to develop in each of the twelve areas. Answer the following
questions in your journal:
a.
How can I improve the ways in which I reinforce myself?
b.
How can I make a more honest appraisal of my accomplishments?
c.
How can I accept myself as being successful?
d.
How can I eliminate all excuses for being unsuccessful?
e.
Who needs to have permission to give me honest feedback when they see me
self-destructing?
f.
How can I monitor my level of commitment and motivation to succeed?
g.
How can I improve the ways I visualize what it will be like when I
achieve my goals?
h.
How can I improve the ways in which I offer others reinforcement and
praise for their individual success and achievements?
i.
How can I improve my self-talk to assist me in achieving my goals?
j.
How can I learn to accept the compliments and recognition of others for
my success?
Step
5: Once you identify the behavior traits you need to develop
in your life, make a commitment to accomplish this. If you continue to have a
fear of success, however, return to Step 1 and begin again.
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