Affirmations

Before we can become self-affirming, we need to learn about the effects of negativism in our lives.

What is the outcome of believing in negative self-scripts?

Over-dependence on the approval of others: You have an inordinate need to receive positive reinforcement or approval for what you are, how you act, and what you do from others, with an inability to be self-rewarding.

Lack of self-esteem and low self-concept: You have an inability to believe in your own worth, inability to see any value in your own life, a poor self-image, and a lack of belief in your competency to succeed in life.

Immobilization: A rigid belief system immobilizes you from taking risks in life, prevents you from wanting to make a change, freezes your feelings into a negative pattern, and convinces you that your only role in life is to be victimized by those from whom you cannot escape.

Negativity: Your negative view of yourself leads you to see all of your world in a negative light. You begin to believe and act as a `"loser.'' You see nothing in a positive light and can't be convinced that there is a better option in life.

Pessimism: You no longer believe that you will succeed and are no longer willing to take an optimistic position as you look to your future. You can see only gloom and doom on the horizon.

Self-Pity: You begin to feel so sorry for yourself and how life has treated you that you become your best ``pity party'' guest. You are so lost in your self-sorrow, regrets, remorse, sympathy, and pity that you refuse to be shaken or changed. You begin to believe that no one will notice you if they can't feel sorry for you too.

Cynicism: You take a "yes-but'' cynical look at every suggestion for change in your life. You begin to doubt in the sincerity, kindness, and love of others who are trying to help you. You create a barrier of cynicism to block them out, thus convincing yourself when they leave you that they really didn't care.

The "Guard-All Shield'': You create an invisible shield, tough for others to see or to penetrate. People will approach you and try to get involved, but you zap them with your shield and they back away or turn and run. The shield is so subtle that at times you don't even know it exists, and you get confused by people pulling away from you. This shield can take the form of coldness, wise cracking, fear of being hurt, aloofness, unwillingness to change or take a risk, fear of being taken advantage of, fear of intimacy, fear of failure, fear of hurting others, or any other feeling that keeps you from connecting emotionally with another person

Fulfillment of the Prophecy: Because negative self-scripts predict the worst, you at some subconscious level work to achieve the worst and succeed in fulfilling the negative prophecy of: failure, rejection, loss, disapproval, or any other catastrophe or malady. It is a pattern of being self-destructive with one's life.

Depression: Because of the anger, resentment, rage, hurt, disappointment, disillusionment, and suffering you experience from your negative self-scripting you are a ``good'' candidate for firm and long-lasting depression. Your emotions can become so stuck, rigid, and constricted that you can be embedded into a deep sense of melancholy, blue funk, and loss of hope. At this stage you are a candidate for mental health intervention before the depression reaches a despair level and you become even more self-destructive, possibly physically ill or suicidal.

What are self-affirmations?

What shapes can positive self-affirmations take?

"I'' statements are one-line statements that can be repeated to cover three areas:

I am: A statement of who you are

This is a positive affirmation of a real state of being that exists in you. You can achieve a full list of I am Y statements by taking a personal positive inventory of your attributes, strengths, talents, and competencies. Examples include:

This is a positive affirmation of your ability to accomplish goals. It is a statement of your belief in your power to grow, to change, and to help yourself. I can Y statements are developed after you develop a set of "short-term'' (three to six months) goals. Examples include:

This is a positive affirmation of a change you want to achieve. It is a positive statement of what you want to happen. It is a ``success prophecy.'' I will Y statements are developed after you have set your priorities for the short-term goals you have set. Examples include:

The daily use of these "I'' statements is another form of self-affirmation designed to counter negative self-concept. It can result in a positive attitude, optimism, and can motivate you toward emotional growth and progress.

Affirmation Visualizations

There are word, images or pictures and scenario visualizations, all affirming positively.

Word Visualizations:

Step 1: Take any single target word about who you are, your ability, or what you want to accomplish. Write it on a 3 x 5 card.

Step 2: Get yourself into a relaxed state, preferably just before you go to bed. Hold the card about 12" to 24" from your eyes. Focus your eyes on the word and concentrate your attention. Hold this thought for up to 20 or 30 minutes.

Step 3: Do this exercise nightly for at least two weeks. As you continue, you are burning the image of your goal word into your mind. It will be with you in your thoughts as you proceed in your everyday life.

Image Visualization:

Step 1: Create or find an image of an object, person, or thing that embodies your goal for who you are, what your abilities are, or what you want to accomplish:

a comfortable house a rainbow
a diploma a sunset
a cruise ship a calm ocean
a happy, healthy child a sunny day
a slim body a snow topped mountain

Step 2: Get yourself into a relaxed state and either look at the picture or imagine you reaching your goal. Do this for 20 minutes each night for one month.

Step 3: Get copies of your picture or a simulation of your goal, and tape them in places where you will see them as you go through your normal day.

Step 4: Continue to keep your images in place until you have accomplished the ``goal'' feelings of success and/or achieved the ``object'' success. The important thing is to believe that it is possible to achieve. This motivation is the most important step on your journey to success.

Step 1: Once you have a goal in mind for yourself, daydream a full color movie in your mind of what your life would be like if you achieved the goal.

Step 2: Get a tape recorder and talk out the whole movie on tape. Be fully descriptive, colorful, positive, and uplifting. Use your imagination to the fullest and describe how positively you will be handling the change resulting from your goal attainment. Describe how key "significant others'' in your life will cope successfully with your change. Save this tape for future reference.

Step 3: Write out a description of the goal attainment scenario, and keep it handy for future reference.

Step 4: When you are in a relaxed state, listen to the tape and read your description of the scenario every day for two weeks.

Step 5: Refer back to the tape and script as time goes on until you have reached full attainment of your goal.

Self-affirmation statements

These forms of affirmation are words, phrases, or statements written on 3 x 5 index cards and placed where you can see them daily and be reminded of positive aspects about yourself. Every time you see these affirmation cards they will remind you to affirm yourself about these positive qualities or attributes. State all affirmations in a positive way.

Affirmation of the day exercise

Write a single positive affirmation on thirty 3 x 5 index cards. Take one card a day for each day of the month. This card is your affirmation for the day. When you get to the last card start again.

To make this daily affirmation process grow, write out thirty different affirmations for each month of the year. Keep the 360 cards in a recipe box and continually use the collection year after year, adding new affirmations as you need them.

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